This Is The Last Time
by partypantscuddy
Summary: This is the last time she lets him in her door. This is the last time, he won't hurt her anymore. Post series finale, House/Cuddy.
1. Chapter 1

_Sooo, every summer I say "I'm going to write so much!" and then I don't... But I've started this story and the sequel to ATB, which I'm sorry to say will be on the back burner for a bit because I need to get out of that universe for a little while, but have no fear, you'll get it in due time! Meanwhile, you can have this! There are several chapters already written. You can blame Marlene ( surviva_chick) for the shortness of this chapter because she insisted it needs to end on a cliff hanger. Also this is entitled after the song "The Last Time" by Taylor Swift, listen to it and you'll understand why. Special thanks to Ali (givemekevinbacon), Marlene, Kelly, and Dengel for their encouragement and critiques, as well as dealing with my relentless emails. I'll post the next chapter soonish. Let me know what you think in your reviews!_

* * *

It had been forty – eight hours on the dot since Wilson's heart had given out and his suffering had ended. Gregory House had consumed a grand total of thirty tablets of Vicodin. The immunity his body had created against the powerful narcotic had caused him to resort to higher levels of the drug to attempt to numb his pain; both physical and emotional. Thirty pills in forty – eight hours, and the pain had yet to cease.

He leaned against the wall, in a far of corner of the crowded synagogue. He couldn't help but let a small smile escape through as he noted the copious amounts of people there to pay their respects.

His eyes were locked on the closed mahogany casket across the room. Wilson had requested it be a closed casket funeral; he wanted to be remembered at his best, not the ghost of the man he had been. He wanted to cause less pain to those already mourning his loss. Always like him to care more about others, even until his dying breath.

House respected his best friend's wishes. In all honesty, he didn't want anyone to see Wilson's corpse as it was. There had been bags beneath his eyes, his cheek bones as prominent as they had been when they had met, the deterioration of his health causing his skin to sag as he lost weight, his bones becoming more pronounced. He wanted Wilson to be remembered at his best.

He was pulled from his thoughts as he noted a petite figure clad in black move towards him through his peripheral view. His heart rate increased as the figure came nearer walking with the determined stride he had observed so many times in the last decade, but had not witnessed in over two years.

* * *

She didn't know what emotions she was feeling; she only knew that majority of her felt numb. She was never one too comfortable with death. After being Chief Administrator for so long she had forgotten what it was like to be faced with death every day. She knew that deaths were occurring around her, but she was never the one to be there to experience the loss of a human life first hand, or to be the one to break the news to the family members of the deceased. There were rarities where she was there when a life could not be saved or worse yet she would be the one to be the bearer of bad news, but the losses of the ones she held dear where the ones that never occurred to her as a possibility.

She found it hysterical that the possibility of Wilson dying before her had never occurred to her, but as she approached the man's best friend, the absurdity of it all struck her as unbelievable. Wilson was never the one who was supposed to die first. It was supposed to be either her or House. They had always thought it would have been House, and he almost had been the first to go, several times, but they had never once thought it would have been Wilson.

It occurred to her that she had not seen the figure she had expected to find looming in the background, hidden from view, seeing as he was supposed to be dead to the world but she was one of the very few who knew he was indeed not.

It had been two years since she had last seen him. She couldn't help but feel a jolt of anticipation as she scanned the crowd in the small synagogue where the funeral of one of her closest friends was being held, but she spotted him along the back, hidden within the shadows just as she had expected. He shouldn't have been there, but she knew that he would not be able to forgive himself if he did not attend the funeral of the one person who had stuck with him when she couldn't.

She often wondered how things had been after she had left; if it had been difficult for him to move on from her, if he had even tried to move on from her. God knows she had tried to move on from him and had failed. There was no comparison to the feelings she still felt for House, regardless of his insanity and the most volatile act that she had ever seen him commit against another person, - that person, sadly being her – she still felt something for the man.

Cuddy stood from her seat at the front of the synagogue and approached the secluded corner where she had spotted him just minutes earlier, leaning against the wall.

She hadn't seen him in over two years, and if she hadn't known who he was, she wouldn't have recognized him. The lines on House's face were so much deeper, his hair greyer than ever, his eyes bloodshot, and his overall demeanor defeated. She hadn't seen him look like that since he had left for rehab years earlier.

It made her pity him.

She pitied him because he had to endure the loss of his best friend alone, without the support of anyone else. She pitied him because he had to watch as the life was drained from the one person who had ever truly cared about him enough to be completely selfless for his well-being rather than their own.

Not only did she pity him, but as she looked up at him and felt his piercing blue eyes analyze her to the core, she also pitied herself, for allowing herself to pity him. If it were anyone else, they would not deserve her pity, but it was him. No matter what he did, he would always be deserving of what he least deserved from her.

They stood in silence as they stared at one another; the air tense with words left unsaid that needed saying.

* * *

He could not believe that she was standing in front of him, her cool grey eyes staring up at him as he looked down at her.

He certainly would not have believed what happened next had he not felt the sting of her palm across his face.


	2. Chapter 2

_Ya'll are all very inquisitive and I'm glad. Your questions will be answered as the story continues, I promise. Thanks so much for all of the reviews and favorites and alerts, it's extremely encouraging! Here's the next chapter._

* * *

"You son of a bitch." She growled, looking around to make sure there were no eyes on them, although by this point it was obvious to the world that House was indeed, not dead.

"Come with me."

House rubbed at his cheek for a moment before following her out of the building and into the dark parking lot of the temple. He watched as she stopped walking, whipping around to face him before hitting him in the chest.

"You faked your own fucking death. I _mourned _you, and you weren't even fucking dead. You didn't deserve my mourning, yet I still found myself crying over you because we never got a chance to say goodbye, or to even attempt to fix anything that happened between us. _You rammed your car through_ _my fucking dining room, _and yet when Wilson called me to tell me that you had died, I snapped. Because regardless of what you do, you always get what you least deserve from me."

He stood there shocked at her confession, honestly expecting anything but what he was currently getting from her.

"I hate you so much, for everything you did to me. You made me pick up and leave everything I knew behind. You made me have to explain to my daughter that we wouldn't be able to go back home, to the only home she knew, yet still, I find myself caring about you. You're like a stain that I can't get rid of, no matter hard I scrub at the fabric." Her voice cracked, and he could see the tears beginning to overflow her eyelids.

House watched as she fell apart before his very eyes, sitting down on the ground, her head in her hands.

He wanted to reach out to her, he wanted to hold her, feel her beside him again, but he wasn't sure that his embrace would be well received. So he did what he knew how to do best, and watched from a distance.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

He heard her scoff before she looked up from the ground.

"Damn right you're sorry. Do you have any clue how much I hate you right now? How much I hate myself for breaking down like this?"

"I'm sorry." He repeated, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." She snapped, standing and brushing herself off before heading towards her car.

"Cuddy." He said softly, following after her. He watched as she turned to face him, tears still running down her face. "I really am sorry."

"Fuck you."

* * *

She was honestly surprised when he had not followed after her. She had expected him to; a part of her had wanted him to. She got into the car and drove until she found an empty parking lot. She pulled into the lot and turned on the radio only to hear the sounds of Bruce Springsteen's _'Thunder Road'_ fill the air.

_"You've got to be fucking kidding me." _

She pounded her fist against the steering wheel before breaking down into a fit of tears. Of all songs to be playing, it had to be the one that played as she and House had driven down to the beach for the first time as a couple. They spent most of the weekend in their hotel room until she had convinced House to go out into the water with her. They'd gone out into the water and the tide had knocked him over and she had laughed so hard there had been tears streaming down her face. He had pulled her down into the water with him to get his own sort of amusement and she had screamed as he held her against him, the water pushing them closer to the shore. Later on they had watched the sun set together, his arms around her waist and her head against his chest as they sat in the sand together. It had honestly been one of the best weekends she had ever spent with a significant other.

Now here she was almost four years later sitting in her car, in an empty parking lot, crying over the same man who had given her some of the best times of her life. As trying and difficult as her relationship had been with House, she had never been able to picture her life without him as a part of it, no matter the state of their relationship. No matter what happened between them, there would always be a part of her that wanted him in her life. Two years had passed since she had last seen him, and seeing him again had brought back all of the feelings she had tried to keep repressed in the recesses of her mind. All of the love and hatred had simultaneously crashed into her head on; much like his car had crashed into her home.

He had crashed his car into her home, and yet here she was still finding herself loving the man. Clearly, she was just as fucked up as he was. It seemed that no matter what he did to her, she would never be able to stop loving him and she hated herself for it. It wasn't normal for her to be so attached to someone, no matter the extent of their history. It was not _healthy_ for her to be so attached to a man who was simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to her.

She had tried to forget him. She had tried to move on, see other men, but none of them had treated her the way House had when they had been together. None of them had challenged her enough; none of them had made her feel as important as House had. He had ruined her.

Being with House had made her feel like she was the most important person in his life, and part of her knew that at that point in time, she had been. He had tried so hard to change for her and in the end she had let him go because of one error that she knew at one point or another he would have committed. She should have known that addicts relapse. She _did_ know that they relapsed but throughout their relationship she had lived under the delusion that he would never relapse and when it happened she had been so disappointed in him and in _herself_ for not being able to see that it was bound to happen.

She sighed, wiping her eyes. She had spent too many nights pondering what would have happened if she had been able to help him, if she hadn't been too scared to continue their relationship; she wasn't going to spend another night doing the same. She took a deep breath before turning the car back on and heading towards her hotel. She had Wilson's burial in the morning and afterwards she had a meeting with his lawyer because apparently he had left something to her in his will.

Cuddy pulled up to the front of the hotel and gave the valet her keys before heading inside.

She entered her hotel room and slipped out of her heels before changing out of her clothes and into her pajamas.

Grabbing her cellphone she decided to call her mother, knowing that even though it was past ten that Rachel would still be up, especially considering her mother's leniency when it came to her.

"Why are you calling me at this time of night? Didn't I teach you to never call someone after ten?" Her mother barked into the phone, causing her to roll her eyes.

"You and I both know that you don't go to sleep until after you've watched Craig Ferguson, and that's at almost two in the morning. Can you just put Rachel on?" Cuddy replied.

"Hold on."

She listened as her mother told Rachel to stop playing with the dog before hearing the phone shift.

"Hi momma!"

"Hey honey…Are you being good for grandma?"

"Ya! When are you coming back? Did you tell Uncle Wilson goodbye from me?"

"I'll be home in a few days, and I told him." Her voice cracked as she lied about the last part. She hadn't exactly gotten the proper chance to say her goodbyes since the moment she had spotted House she had charged at him. She would say her goodbyes and Rachel's after the burial.

"Tell me about your day." She continued.

She listened intently as the five year old excitedly described her day, bringing a genuine smile to her face while managing to keep her mind of off current things.

* * *

"You're a little shit, do you know that?"

He was sitting beside Wilson's casket, looking into it. He had opened it when the room finished clearing out and the Synagogue was empty. He was sure he was alone. He'd been sitting there for almost an hour, just talking as if Wilson was actually able to listen.

"You were not supposed to die before me. I was supposed to die first. Then Cuddy, then you because you are…" He swallowed hard before correcting himself. "were the most functional out of the three of us. You were the one who could make it on your own. You would have found another wife, or another friend, or something. You would have been okay without me. You would have still had Cuddy. I mean, you were okay without me when I was in prison and I'm assuming it's because you kept your weekly lunches with her. Don't think I didn't notice that you still disappeared on Tuesdays even after I came back. Clearly you were being the saint that you were and making sure she was okay…I'm sorry by the way…for driving her out of your life when I drove her out of mine…Your friendship with her was stronger than ours was anyway, but I guess that's because it revolved around taking care of me…You two did a good job at that by the way….at taking care of me…until you know, I fucked things up for all of us…I'm sorry, again…For breaking your wrist…putting a strain on your only healthy friendship…Being such a selfish jackass..."

He could feel his eyes begin to burn with the sting of tears and he couldn't be bothered to wipe them away.

"Fuck, why did you have to get cancer? If there is a god, he is one sick motherfucker because the irony of an oncologist dying of cancer is disgusting. If he wanted to kill someone and be ironic about it my kidneys should have failed long ago and I wouldn't be in this situation. I wouldn't have to be sitting here next to the body of the only person who actually gave a flying fuck about me. You would have been okay if I had died first. Fuck, Wilson."

House held his head in his hands as he broke down. He hadn't had an emotional breakdown since the night in which Cuddy had broken up with him. He let out an angry scoff. It always seemed like those who he loved most where the ones who had fucked him over the most.

Wilson was dead and Cuddy was gone for good.

Cuddy.

He hated to admit that over the years he had missed her. How could he not have missed her when he had worked alongside her for over fifteen years? How could he not miss her after he had shared his bed with her for almost year?

When he had been in prison he had spent majority of his sleepless nights thinking about what could have happened between them if he hadn't been reckless. Maybe if he hadn't done what he had, they would have been able to fall for each other once more or at least make their way back to where they had been before; after all that was what he had told himself he wanted at the time.

But that wasn't what he had really wanted. What he had wanted was for her to give him another chance, to be able to show her that he was the right one for her. He made _one_ error, an error made out of the fear of losing her, and she let him go. She let go of everything they had had, their years of history, without looking back. It killed him. To this day, it still killed him that she could do that to him after everything they had been through.

For years she had been his constant saviour, always there to make sure that he would be okay; until the one night when she had chosen herself over him and it had torn him apart.

If there was one thing he could change in his life, it would have been taking the pill which ended in the ultimate demise of his relationship with Cuddy.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows on this story so far! The email notifcations on them really light up my day. I'll get back to your reviews as soon as possible, I promise. Here's the next chapter, it's mostly Cuddy centered, so just a fair warning. Don't forget to leave a review._

* * *

She awoke the next morning with a pounding migraine that she was sure was from the crying she had done the previous night. The moment she had gotten off of the phone with her daughter the thoughts she had been trying to suppress came back to her and she couldn't help but find some sort of release in crying.

She stood and made her way into the bathroom, one of her hands rubbing at her temples. She grabbed the bottle of aspirin she had brought with her and popped it open, spilling two pills into her hand before filling the glass beside the sink with water.

She showered, brushed her teeth, and dressed, deciding to skip out on breakfast. She didn't know if she would be able to stomach it with the day she had ahead of her.

Wilson's burial had lasted an hour. She hadn't spotted House in the crowd but she knew he was lurking. She could feel his eyes on her the entire time as she stood beside those she knew from Princeton Plainsboro.

"We lost House in May and six months later Wilson's gone too. What a sick fucking world we live in." She heard Chase murmur beside her.

"If you turn your head and look to the left, behind that giant statue of an angel, you'll notice someone lurking there. It's House." Foreman replied, and Cuddy turned to look at him her eyes wide.

"Don't look at me like you didn't know he was still alive. I saw you go up to him and slap him yesterday during the wake." He continued nonchalantly.

"How long have you known?" She hissed.

"Since after his funeral."

"What the hell?! House faked his death!?" Chase whispered skeptically.

"Obviously, as he's fifty yards from us."

"Wow."

"And why haven't you reported him?" She asked, annoyed.

"Why would I report him when he did it so that his best friend could live out the rest of his days while having fun? House may be an asshole, but that is the most selfless thing he has ever done for anyone. Besides it's none of my business anymore, he's supposed to be dead."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, deciding she had nothing further to say.

When the Rabbi had said his final words and people had started to clear out, she was approached by a man who appeared to be at least ten years her junior.

"Dr. Lisa Cuddy, my name is Matthew Smith, I was the deceased's lawyer." He extended a hand to greet her and she reluctantly took it.

"I know we were supposed to be having a meeting in regards to Dr. Wilson's will and what he had left entitled to you and your daughter, but seeing as it's nothing but a manila envelope I figured it would be saving your time if you received it now instead of later on."

She watched as he pulled a large envelope from his briefcase before handing it to her.

"This was all. See, no need to have had a meeting."

"Thank you." She replied.

"No problem…and I'm sorry for your loss, he spoke very highly of you." He nodded before turning and walking away.

She walked back over to her SUV, deciding that if she were going to say her final goodbyes, it would be after all of the stragglers had gone and she was sure she would be in private.

After getting into the car, she took the envelope and opened the tab. Inside she found a spare key to his apartment and another envelope with her name scribbled across it in his neat cursive.

She opened the envelope pulling out a folded piece of paper that she assumed to be a letter. She unfolded it and began to read its contents.

_Dear Cuddy,_

_If you're reading this, it means that sadly, I am dead and buried and you have received this letter from my lawyer along with a spare key to my apartment. On the top shelf of my closet there is a box full of pictures. There are pictures of Rachel you've given me over the years, pictures of us from hospital events up until you left, and pictures of House with us from miscellaneous occasions. I want you to have them. They hold no sentimental value to anyone but you and House, and we both know he won't take them._

_Anyway, I'm writing this to tell you that I loved and appreciated your friendship. You were the only stable and constant friend in my life, and I will eternally be grateful for that. You were there for me when Amber died, making sure that I said goodbye before it was too late and you were there for me when I decided to leave. You supported my decision because you wanted what was best to help me cope with her death. I never properly thanked you for that. Your friendship was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind when it came to having to deal with House constantly, and I know that our Tuesday lunches were a welcomed occurrence to keep you sane too, because we all needed a break from work. I also want to thank you for not cutting me off when you left Princeton because I know it was hard for you, but I also know that you wouldn't have been able to deal with your guilt if you had cut me off, especially when we were both hurt by what House did. Not only that, but cutting me off would have meant cutting off Rachel's favorite uncle, and we both know you wouldn't have been okay with that because she needed a male influence in her life that wasn't your brother in law. Speaking of Rachel, there's a gift for her at my apartment. It should be next to the box of pictures. It's a set of Pirates of The Caribbean Barbies since she still hasn't grown out of that._

_I'm going to ask a favor of you, that I know you won't refuse because you would never refuse a dead man's last wish. _

_I need you to keep an eye on House for a few days. Just a few days, nothing more. I mean it shouldn't matter because I'm dead, but I just won't be at rest until he's somewhat ok. I know you're still hurt by what he did, but like I told you before, he really is sorry for what he did. He did his time. I'm not asking you to forgive him, because that's not in my place to ask, but I am asking you to just make sure he is ok. These last few months he's shown a side that I'm sure you saw when you were together because regardless of his faults, you know that deep down he is a good man and he is capable of regretting his mistakes although it is difficult for him to say it._

_Thanks for being such a great friend, we both know I needed it. _

_Yours truly,_

_James Evan Wilson_

"The son of a bitch." She mumbled, wiping her eyes as she stuffed the letter into her purse. She looked out of the tinted window of her car, finding that there was no one around. She walked out of her car and towards Wilson's tombstone.

She took a deep breath, pulling her jacket against her as a strong gust of wind blew just as she stopped walking.

"I read your letter. I never really got to thank you for being the best friend I could have asked for. If it weren't for your encouragement I wouldn't have been able to go through with adopting Rachel, who is the light of my life and the best thing to have ever happened to me. That little girl loved you so much, and I cannot even begin to describe how upset she was when I told her you had died. She told me to tell you she said goodbye and that she loves you, and that she'll always keep the duck you got her when she was first born…  
I also want to thank you for being my shoulder to cry on…When it came to everything that happened with House. The break up…the other thing…I know that at first you tried to be there for House, but I appreciate when you turned your attention to me when he started doing things to intentionally hurt me, like marrying that hooker. I'll never forget how you attempted to comfort me after that train wreck. And thank you for being there for me when shit really hit the fan and he went to prison. I was just so distraught that he had done that…and you cutting him off completely, I appreciate that…I appreciate it enough to reluctantly make sure that he's okay. At least until I go back to Manhattan in two days… But if he refuses, then I'm leaving him be. He's a grown man and I'm not going to take care of him…  
I'll be sure to tell Rachel how much you loved her when I give her that present from you. Thanks for being such a great friend, I love you and I'll miss having you around."

* * *

House watched from afar as Cuddy stood in front of Wilson's tombstone. He could see that she was openly crying as he spoke into the air, assuming she was saying her goodbyes. After watching her leave, he limped towards the tombstone.

"I came to say goodbye because you're not going to be in hell when I get there." He said simply before turning and walking away.

He walked back to where he had parked Wilson's car and got in, driving off towards his apartment.

He reached his apartment building not caring who saw him. It didn't matter if he was supposed to be dead; he would be soon enough.

He entered his apartment and slammed the door behind him. Pulling a bottle of oxycodone from his pocket, he limped into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of scotch from his stash of alcohol.

* * *

Cuddy entered Wilson's apartment, a feeling of melancholy over coming her as she realized how empty it was without him there.

She looked around and sighed before heading towards his bedroom and searching through his closet for the things he had left her. She found the box of pictures and just as he had said in his letter, there was a wrapped box beside it, with Rachel's name on it. She took the boxes down, stumbling over her own feet and landing flat on her ass.

Instead of standing, she grabbed the box of pictures and opened it.

She let out a soft laugh at the first picture she came across.

For one of the hospital events the board had voted on a carnival theme and they had ordered several of those face-in-the-hole boards. Wilson had been amused to no end with them and after several drinks he had convinced her to take pictures with him in one of them. She agreed and they took a picture in one where they were parts of a circus act but to make it even funnier she had been the man and he had been the woman.

Another picture had been one of herself and House that she assumed Wilson had snapped without their noticing during one of the many nights the three of them had gone out together. It was a picture taken from behind; House had his arm around her waist and she was leaning her head against his shoulder. The picture had been taken outside and it hit her that it had been the night they had gone out to a karaoke bar together, less than a month before she had broken up with House.

She turned the photo over looking for the date on it, only to find a note written on the back by Wilson.

_If they ever get married, show this at their wedding and mention how easily they mold into one another._

Shaking her head, she put the picture back into the box before standing. She grabbed the boxes and shut the door behind her as she exited the apartment, taking one last look at the home of one of her closest friends.

She decided to stop by House's apartment, knowing that if she were going to find him somewhere, it would be there. She was proved right when she pulled into one of the empty parking spaces of his apartment complex and noted that the car she had parked beside was Wilson's. Who else would be driving a dead man's car?

Making her way up towards the apartment she felt her heart rate increase as a feeling of unease hit her. Reaching the door to House's apartment, she barely had to touch it for the door to open.

Something was off.

* * *

_What could possibly be wrong? Don't be shy, leave your concerns in a review, I know you're curious as to what's to come. ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Again, thank you all so much for your reviews and support, they are what keeps this story going! _

* * *

"House?" Cuddy called out as she entered the apartment and looked around.

She entered his bedroom and the sight before her stopped her in her tracks.

He was lying on the floor an empty bottle of alcohol and pills scattered around him. What shocked her most was that the pills weren't Vicodin. They were Oxycodone.

She could see from her position that he wasn't breathing. She kneeled at his side and felt for a pulse. It was weak. Her medical instinct kicked in and she was performing CPR in an instant.

"You don't get to do this to me, you son of a bitch." She huffed, as she compressed his chest before bringing her lips to his. "You don't get to die on me."

When she got him breathing on his own again, she pulled out her cellphone and dialed 911.

After hanging up with the dispatcher she pulled her knees up to her chest and brought her head against her knees, attempting to stop her body from shaking.

When the EMTs arrived and placed House on a stretcher, one reached out a hand to help her stand. Cuddy followed after them not believing what was happening as she climbed into the ambulance.

She had called on the way to the hospital and was greeted by him and Foreman when the ambulance pulled into the bay.

"What happened?" Foreman asked as the EMTs took House into an empty room in the ER.

"I think he tried to kill himself…I don't know, I went to check on him like Wilson had asked me to and I found him lying on the floor with Oxy pills scattered around and a bottle of scotch and he wasn't breathing, his pulse was weak, I just don't know." She replied, her voice shaking.

"Okay, okay. I'll make sure word of his admittance is kept on the down low for the sake of keeping him out of jail again. He'll get the attention he needs and then he'll be released."

She nodded, not being able to find herself able to speak, still physically shaking from the previous events.

"I find out he's alive and the same day he almost dies. Incredible." Chase murmured.

"Shut up Chase." Foreman responded. "Come on Cuddy."

She followed after him as he led her through the ER towards the room they had put House in for the time being.

The hospital's interior design had changed drastically since she had left and given Foreman her job. It was bland and unwelcoming, the exact opposite of vibe she had given it when she was in charge. It made her feel uncomfortable to be back in an environment she had once been so comfortable in.

"His stomach is being pumped." A younger woman said as she stepped out of the room and into the hallway where Cuddy and Foreman were currently standing.

"How the hell is this even possible? He's supposed to be dead."

"Don't worry about it Adams."

"The man was my boss for a year, I helped him while he was in prison, how could I not worry? This is beyond insane."

"Again, don't worry about it. Get back to work, there are other patients, patients who are still alive to the world who need to be taken care of."

Cuddy watched as the younger woman rolled her eyes before walking off towards another part of the hospital.

"Who was that?"

"That was one of House's last team members. She lost her job at the prison for helping him diagnose an inmate, he hired her."

"House being a decent human being? Who knew that was possible." She mumbled.

"We're going to move him up to a private room in ICU." Another doctor said as they approached Foreman before they turned to Cuddy. "He's going to need to be kept under observation for a few days as well as go through a psychological evaluation since it's clear that this was a suicide attempt."

"Yes, I know."

"Well you can go in and see him before we take him up to a room, although he is sedated."

"It's okay, I'll go up and see him later on. Foreman, I'm going to head back to my hotel and make some changes since I guess I'll have to be staying a few more days."

"I'll keep an eye on him for you."

"There won't be a need seeing as he'll be knocked out for at least four hours." She responded through gritted teeth.

She called for a cab to take her back to House's apartment and when she was dropped off she got into her car and drove to her hotel.

"I need to book my room for a few extra days." She said when she reached the front desk of the hotel.

"I'm sorry but we have an event in two days and every room has been booked for the days following the event."

"There are no free rooms at all?" She asked skeptically, finding it hard to believe that every room in the hotel would be booked.

"I'm sorry ma'am. Every room will be booked to different schools for Thespian State Competition."

"Okay, thanks anyway." She replied before making her way to her room to clear her things out.

* * *

He knew he had failed the moment he had awoken. He had oxygen tubes in his nose, IVs in his arms, EKG wires on his chest, and the last person he wanted to see was curled up in the recliner across the room, a blanket sprawled over her petite figure.

He could see that her face was bare of make-up and he hated himself for allowing the thought of how beautiful she looked in her sleep, all of the worries erased from her features.

He was hit with the realization that the only reason she had most likely found him was because Wilson had probably asked her to in the letter he had written to her before his death. He saw no other reason for her to have come looking for him when she had made it painfully clear that she wanted nothing to do with him and she was right to do so. He was no longer her responsibility. He was no longer anyone's responsibility but his own.

He watched as she stirred in her sleep before mumbling something incoherently in his direction. Knowing from their past as a couple that she at times mumbled things in her sleep he chose to ignore her. Looking up at the clock on the wall he noted that it was two in the morning.

"You are a son of a bitch."

He looked away from the clock and back at Cuddy who was now seated up right in the recliner.

"You fake your own death for the sake of your best friend's final months, and then he dies and you try to commit suicide? Why would you do that? Why would you even consider it, knowing that you still have a chance to turn your life around?"

He attempted to speak but his throat was too dry for anything more than just a hoarse groan to be made.

Cuddy stood, sighing as she walked over to the pitcher of water on the table beside his hospital bed and filled a glass before bringing it to his lips. If he hadn't been so thirsty, he would have pushed her hand away; he didn't need her help, he could hold his own damn glass.

"Why do you care? I'm not your problem anymore. What I do to myself no longer affects you." He replied, clenching his fist against the sheets of the bed.

"You are my problem. You have always been my problem and you will always continue to be my problem, as long as you are living and breathing."

"Well obviously I was trying to stop being your so called _problem _since I tried to cease living and breathing."

"I wouldn't be here if I wanted you to stop being my problem."

"That's the thing, _I don't want you here._" He hissed through gritted teeth.

"You don't get a choice in whether or not I'm here. I'm doing this because Wilson asked me to keep an eye over you for a few days after his death, and I wasn't going to until I found you in your apartment, not breathing, with pills scattered around you and an empty bottle of alcohol! I had no intention of letting you back into my life again until I found you like that. You need help, whether it's from me, or from a psychiatric ward."

"I don't want anyone's help."

"You can't always get what you want. You should know that by now."

House slammed his fist against the side of the hospital bed, startling her.

"Go home Cuddy. You don't need this."

"I know I don't need this. Do you think I necessarily want this? To let you back into my life after everything you did to me? Did Wilson tell you how I was in therapy for a year because what you did to me left me so emotionally traumatized that I was on the brink of a breakdown?" She left out the fact that she had been on anti-anxiety medication since a few weeks after she had left Princeton. He didn't need to know that and she didn't want to give him anymore grief over the situation considering his current state. "I'm not going to live with your death on my conscious and let myself go back to where I was a year ago. Walking away would do me no good."

He fell silent, not being able to bring himself to respond to her emission.

He hadn't known that she had been in therapy and the fact that he had hurt her so badly that it had put a strain on her emotional stability made him feel sick to his stomach. One of her strongest qualities had always been being able to handle highly emotional situations well.

"I'm sorry."

"If you're really sorry, then you'll stop being so damn difficult." She snapped.

"I'm a difficult human being, you should know that by now."

"You're a complete and utter jackass, but I think you know that by now." Cuddy replied mockingly and he tried his best to contain a smirk at her response.

He'd forgotten about the sassy side of her.

"By the way, the hotel I was staying at doesn't have any more rooms available, so I'll be staying at your apartment until I lug your ass back home with me for a few weeks."

"No."

"You tried to kill yourself and your first emergency contact is dead, and for some reason I was next on the list. Seeing as you've been deemed mentally incompetent until you get a psych evaluation, legally I decide what happens next. You're here for three more days and then you're stuck with me for a few weeks, and there's nothing you can do about it."

* * *

She felt triumphant as she watched House sigh, knowing he had no way out of the situation he had put himself into.

"Now you should really get some rest, they're sending a doctor up from psych in the morning to evaluate you."

She crossed her arms before turning back towards the recliner she had been sleeping in earlier. She settled back into it, this time turning her back to him and covering her face with the blanket as she wrapped it around herself. She could feel his eyes on her and it was the reason she had turned her back to him.

Deep down she was terrified of what would happen when she brought him back to her home in Manhattan and as she thought about it, she knew her face would show her concern and she didn't want him to see that.

She had picked up and left New Jersey completely after the accident but she hadn't gone too far. She couldn't just abandon her family completely as much as she sometimes wished she could.

Manhattan had seemed like the perfect place to start anew. She bought a three bedroom townhome near Colombia University and took the position of Chief Administrator at New York Presbyterian.

The previous Chief Administrator, a man named Richard Castillo had been retiring and had called her when he had heard of her leaving PPTH and offered her his job. He had known of all of the things she had achieved for her hospital and he knew that she would be able to achieve even more for his. She was running a bigger teaching hospital, but because of the size difference she had help running it. Having two assistant administrators to help allowed her to have flexibility in her schedule, giving her the time to lecture and offer advice to medical students once or twice a week when she wanted to.

As impossible as it was for her to believe, working at NYP was better than it ever had been working at PPTH. As much as she had loved the time she had spent there, she had moved onto something better, and it was nice running a hospital that was never in danger of constant budget cuts or that was constantly in need of donors.

She was content with her new life and she knew that having House back in in it would throw everything completely out of whack, but deep down, for the sake of her own sanity she needed to make sure that he would be okay without Wilson, and eventually without her.

* * *

House rolled his eyes as Adams dropped down into a chair close to his hospital bed, a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other.

"Ring on your finger huh? It's been 6 months, who's the lucky man? Please tell me it's not Chase." He asked noting the sizeable diamond engagement ring on her finger.

"We're not here to talk about me, we're here to talk about you, and the circumstances that have landed you in this hospital room."

"They couldn't have sent someone else?"

"Since you're supposed to be dead, no, they couldn't. We're actually trying to keep you out of prison for the time being because contrary to popular belief we did actually somewhat like you."

He heard a chuckle from the corner of the room and snapped his head towards the direction of the source. He hadn't realized Cuddy was in the room.

"I don't want her in here."

"I _could _pull the doctor-patient confidentiality card and make her leave, but she's also a doctor and I don't think it's right for her to take you into her home when you're released and not know the reasons why she's doing so."

"I don't want her in here." He repeated through gritted teeth.

"Well you can't always get what you want."

"It's fine." Cuddy said from her spot in the corner of the room. "He doesn't want me here, I'll leave."

He watched her stand from the recliner, putting the book she was reading aside before walking out of the room.

"Happy now?" Adams asked as they heard click of the door sliding shut.

"Overjoyed." House replied sarcastically.

He watched as his former colleague shifted in her seat, crossing one leg over the other.

"Well first of all, it's new hospital policy that all evaluations be recorded with a tape recorder in order to have accuracy if a court case is ever called for."

"Whatever."

He watched as she pulled a compact tape recorder from her pocket, switched it on, and set it on the arm of her chair.

"Why did you fake your death?"

"Is this a necessary question or are you trying to indulge your curiosities?" He responded dryly, rolling his eyes.

"It's both."

"You and I both know that before I 'died' I was going back to prison for a prank I pulled that resulted in the destruction of part of the hospital, and the fact was that if I were to go back to prison, even though it was only going to be for less than a year, I would be incarcerated and Wilson would be alone, meaning he was going to die without his best friend there. He was there for me when no one else was, I couldn't do that to him."

He averted looking at her as he spoke, focusing his gaze on the clock on the wall across from him.

"And why did you try to kill yourself?"

"Because I am alone. I don't have anyone left."

"Why use pills then? Why not use a gun? Easier, quicker, no chance of turning back, if you really wanted to kill yourself, you would have found a fail proof way, so clearly deep down in your subconscious you didn't want to die."

And she was right.

Because deep down there was a part of him that wanted to be a better person.

"Is it because of Dr. Cuddy?"

His jaw locked at the mention of her name.

"So _it is _because of her." Adams leaned forward in her chair, her eyebrow raised curiously as she looked down at the clipboard in her hand and scribbled something down.

"_Everything _is because her. I'm in pain because of her. I got clean because of her. I hit rock bottom because of her." He snapped, emphasizing on each repetition of the same words.

"I'm still alive because of her." He scoffed. "She is simultaneously the best and worst thing to have ever happened to me."

"I'm going to tell you this, but I'm sure you already know what I'm about to say. I don't know her at all, I know nothing about her other than what I've heard from the other employees, but I do know this; no matter how badly you fucked her over, it's obvious that she still cares about you, a lot. She brought you in here and she was visibly shaking. She's only left to change clothes and shower but the first night you were in here, after she came back from checking out of her hotel, she hadn't left your side until the next morning after you had regained consciousness. If you want to do something with yourself for the better, take advantage of the situation when she takes you into her home to keep an eye on you."

"Relationship advice from a woman whose first marriage fell apart because she couldn't keep her husband from sleeping with another woman, just what I need." He scoffed, shaking his head.

"Maybe if I had made sure my ex knew what he meant to me, he wouldn't have left me." She replied, completely unfazed by his insult. "Doesn't matter now, I'm happier without him."

"Are you going to continue to evaluate me or what?"

"I don't have anything else to ask; the remaining questions are things that I can answer without you."

"Like what?"

"Is the patient depressed? Yes. Has the patient lost an essential sustaining relationship? Yes. Have suicidal thoughts occurred in the past? Yes. Do you need me to continue or?" She asked, sitting back into the chair and pursing her lips.

"No, I want you to get out and leave me the hell alone."

"Don't worry I was planning on it anyway."

He watched as she stood, grabbed the tape recorder, and walked out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

_I said I was going to update yesterday, but it rained and our internet was out all day, so I'm updating now that it's back. Again, thanks so much for the continued support with this story, it means the world to me! :) This is the last you'll be seeing of any of House's ex fellows by the way._

* * *

Cuddy was seated in what she knew to be House's office, but was now Chase's.

It wasn't a surprise to her that Chase had taken over the Diagnostics department after House's faked death; he was the only one of House's fellows to have ever shown the slightest interest in the department apart from being one of House's lackeys.

"So how exactly did he die?" She held up her hands and made air quotations as she said the last word. She had never actually been informed of _how _House had 'died'. When Wilson had called her and told her of House's death, she dropped her cellphone and ran to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. She had stayed in the bathroom for several hours afterwards, her arms wrapped around her knees in complete and utter disbelief.

"He was in a burning building, Wilson saw the ceiling collapse onto him, and the building then exploded. But what we didn't know was that the body that was supposedly House, was actually the body of his last patient, who had over dosed inside the building. House falsified the dental records to make it look like it was his body."

"How…un-House like…"

"He gave up the puzzle for his dying best friend. Guess he couldn't let history repeat itself, especially since it was a sure thing that he would actually watch someone he cared about waste away to a debilitating disease."

She sat quietly, Chase's words bringing back the flood of emotion she had felt years earlier when she had ended her relationship with House.

He didn't let history repeat itself. He had been there for Wilson in his greatest time of need, but he hadn't been able to be there for her, and the realization made her chest hurt and her head spin.

There was the sound of the glass door swinging open and both Cuddy and Chase turned to see who was entering the room.

Adams entered and bee-lined towards Cuddy, holding out a manila folder.

"Take this."

"What is it?"

"It's House's psych evaluation."

"I can't take this; it's a violation of doctor/patient confidentiality."

"You're a doctor and for the next several weeks House will be your patient."

"He's not going to be my patient; I'm keeping an eye on him for a few weeks until I'm sure he won't try to kill himself again."

"Regardless, you should have a copy of his evaluation. You have right to know exactly what you're dealing with."

"I won't take them." Cuddy replied stubbornly.

She watched as both Adams _and _Chase rolled their eyes.

"Well then, I'm just going to leave this here…where anyone can read it if they were so inclined to do so…" Adams replied shrugging and dropping the folder down onto Chase's desk. "Do you want to go get something to eat?" She asked turning towards Chase and running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, sure. Dr. Cuddy would you like to join us?"

"No, it's okay. I'd rather stay here…" She replied, her subconscious already screaming at her to take the file the moment they left the room.

"Alright, stay in here as long as you'd like. If you're gone by the time we get back, we'll see you around." He replied giving her a nod before following Adams out into the hallway.

She waited a good thirty seconds before snatching the file off of Chase's desk and retreating to the stairwell between the fifth and sixth floor; when she had worked at PPTH it had been her sanctum outside of her office. If something was really on her mind she would go up there and have the proper alone time she needed to work over whatever was going through her muddled mind at the point in time.

She took a deep breath before pulling the file out of her purse and opening it.

The first page was basic information, House's age, date of birth, height, weight, and name, which in this case he had been admitted into the hospital with the pseudonym "The Doctor".

She rolled her eyes before reading on.

The second page was a series of simple questions with yes and no responses, all of which were yes. It wasn't until she reached the third page that she felt sick to her stomach.

_"__Everything__ is because her. I'm in pain because of her. I got clean because of her. I hit rock bottom because of her. I'm still alive because of her. She is simultaneously the best and worst thing to have ever happened to me."_

It was obvious that House still had feelings for her, and it only made the feelings she had been trying so desperately to suppress since he had reentered her life, unravel themselves even more within her.

She slipped the folder back into her purse feeling a wave of nausea overcome her. She stood albeit with the help of the handrail and rushed to the bathroom, thankful that it was empty as she ran into the biggest stall and emptied the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl.

She wiped her mouth when she was finished, pulling her knees up against her chest and resting her head against them as she took a deep breath, the beginnings of an anxiety attack setting in. She took several deep breaths, attempting to prevent herself from hyperventilating. She had left her anti-anxiety pills in Manhattan, not having expected to need them. It had been several months since she had last suffered from an anxiety attack but regardless, she only took the medication she had been prescribed in the rare moments where she felt she was suffocating.

This was one of those moments.

It took her almost half an hour to recompose herself, standing from her position on the floor, her knees weak and shaky. She walked over to the sink and splashed cold water onto her face, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

She couldn't resist but let out a laugh at how sorry she felt for herself.

Once upon a time she had been happy and healthy, the stress of her personal life at a minimum. But that had been when she was still with House.

That had been the last time she had been truly happy with where she was in life.

* * *

He was sitting up in his hospital bed, sulking as he attempted to watch a rerun of _Desperate Housewives,_ when the door to the door slid open and Cuddy slid into the room.

She didn't utter a signal word before retreating to the spot he had been accustomed to seeing her in since he had regained consciousness almost two days earlier.

He noted that something was off with her; the front she had been upholding the past few days was no longer present. He could sense that her guards were way below where she wanted them to be.

That was the thing with Cuddy. She was the only person who ninety-nine percent of the time he could tell what she was feeling just from giving her one look. This was one of those times.

Remembering what Adams had told him earlier about making the most of the situation, he shifted his attention from the television screen and focused his gaze on her.

She was curled up on the recliner, an arm behind her head and her eyes closed. He noted the slight swelling around her eyes and it crossed his mind that he hadn't seen her since he had kicked her out just before his psych evaluation. That had been over three hours ago.

He went against his better judgment and decided to attempt to find out what was wrong; a feeble attempt to show her that he did indeed still care.

"Cuddy."

He waited a moment.

"Cuddy."

He watched as she sighed before sitting up.

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

He watched as she processed what he said, taken aback by it.

Clearly it was the last thing she had expected him to ask.

"Nothing." She replied, curling herself up again.

"Don't lie to me Cuddy. I know you. I know when something is wrong."

"You don't know me anymore House. I'm not the same woman I was when you last were a part of my life. Things have changed; you of all people should know that. You are part of the reason things have changed for me and not necessarily for the better."

Now it was his turn to be taken aback. He couldn't actually believe that she was opening up to him when the most he had expected out of her was a simple 'fuck off' when he had initially asked her what was wrong.

"We've both changed." He said quietly, quickly averting her gaze.

"Have you really House? You've changed? Because as I can see it right now, you're doing the same thing you've always done when you're hurting emotionally. You drown your sorrows in drugs. You were on the brink of doing it on the night we started our relationship, you actually did I needed you most during my cancer scare, you did it after we broke up until you _literally _drove me out of Princeton, and you're doing it again now that Wilson's gone. Tell me how you've changed. Please enlighten me."

"You want to know how I've changed? Let's start with the fact that I'm actually capable of apologizing for once and being sincere about it. Every time I've apologized to you in the last three days, _I have meant it. _I am actually capable of being there for the people who I care about in their time of need, regardless of the fact that I'm on Vicodin or not. At least I'm not high off of my fucking mind twenty-four seven. I'm actually trying here Cuddy. Cut me some slack."

"I don't want to _know _you've changed. I want to see it." She replied, softly before curling back up and resuming her previous position.

The moment she turned away and closed her eyes, he knew the conversation was over.

She'd always had a habit of turning her back on him when she was through with whatever serious conversation they were having. He knew that within time she would bring the subject back up herself.

At least some things hadn't changed.

* * *

He was discharged the next day, surprised there wasn't a police escort waiting for him when he stepped foot outside of the hospital.

"What gives?" He asked as he followed behind Cuddy, who was leading him to her car. "Why am I not being arrested for fraud?"

"Because no one in the hospital cares enough to have you arrested. They understand why you did it and for once they're not trying to do you in."

"Huh, maybe I should be selfless more often if it makes two hundred people stop hating me." He joked half-heartedly.

She didn't respond.

They reached her black SUV and he stopped at the passenger side, waiting for her to unlock the doors.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, the sound of the alarm disarming indicating that the doors were unlocked.

"No, I'm not sure." She replied and he watched as her jaw locked. "Get in the car."

"No." He replied and shut the door, heading in the opposite direction.

"House, just get in the car." He heard Cuddy call from behind him.

He ignored her and continued to walk away.

He could hear the clicking of her heels behind him.

"House, you told me you would stop being so difficult." She said quietly; he stiffened as he felt the weight of her hand against his arm. "Please." She continued her voice soft. He turned to face her, sighing as her grey eyes looked up at him beseechingly.

Without responding he turned and headed back towards the direction of her car.

"I went your apartment and picked up some of your things…I packed a suitcase of your clothes and put in some of your books, the ones I remembered you constantly rereading, I put some DVDs and CDs in there too in case you get bored...I also packed your laptop, and several pairs of Nikes…There's also around five thousand dollars in there too."

They had entered the car and he was currently staring ahead into the distance as he heard the sound of the ignition.

"Where did you find the money?" He asked skeptically.

"Under your mattress." She replied, the slightest hint of a smirk running across her features as she pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. "It's still your favorite hiding place. I also found some pictures…"

He could feel the blood rush up to his neck in embarrassment.

After a little too much to drink one night when they were still in a relationship, they had decided to try a bit of role playing – the photographer and his model – and he had pulled out his old polaroid camera and she had let him take pictures of her semi-nude and afterwards completely nude. He hadn't been able to bring himself to discard of them after their break up; he was fond of them for many reasons, one of them being the fact that afterwards she had informed him that he was the only one of her relationships she had ever allowed to take such pictures of her. Besides, from time to time he had pulled them out for his own viewing pleasures.

"Yeah about that…"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me. It doesn't matter."

They fell into an awkward silence.

House turned his head toward the window intent on keeping himself occupied.

Several minutes passed before he realized he had no clue where she was taking him.

"Where are we going?"

"To my place."

"Which is where exactly?"

"Upper Manhattan."

"Ah, snarky uptown girl now."

"Whatever House."

"What exactly do you do now anyway?"

"The same thing I did when I lived in Princeton. I run a hospital. Given, New York Presbyterian is almost three times the size of PPTH, but I have two assistant deans who do most of my work, I just supervise certain cases and teach at Colombia when I can."

He was taken aback by how put together her new life in New York seemed to be. It wasn't exactly what he had been expecting to hear, considering that for the last two days she had made it seem as though she were nothing like the woman he used to know and love, but here she was, in a much better position than she had made herself appear to be in.

"You're better off there than you were here."

"No. I like my job, but I built PPTH up to where it is as the number one teaching hospital in the country, I miss being a part of what I helped create. NYP was already highly ranked when I took over. I've made a few changes to better the hospital but nothing as drastic as what I had to do to get PPTH to excel."

"I'm sorry I forced you out of what you helped create."

"It doesn't matter anymore. In some cases it was for the better…I don't have to work as often because I have so many subordinates doing what I tell them to that I actually get to go home before five on most days and spend time with Rachel."

A part of him wanted to ask how her daughter was doing but he thought better of it. He didn't want the inevitable fall out he was sure would follow if he asked about the child, especially considering that if she had been there the day he decided to drive his car through their dining room, he could have killed her.

"Speaking of which…"

He watched curiously as she bit her lip.

"She's been staying with my mother..."

"I am not going to your mother's with you. One slap in the face from a Cuddy woman is enough, I don't need another."

"I'm not asking you to come with me, I'm just giving you a warning that you'll be by yourself for a few hours tomorrow when I go pick her up. I'm sparing you the wrath of my mother. Be grateful she's not with my sister."

"Or you could you know, just leave me here…at my apartment… where I'll be causing no one harm but myself."

She took her eyes off of the road for a second and the look she gave him shot daggers.

"Or not…"

"Not seems like the best option." She continued. "I'm going to have a friend check in on you by the way, to make sure you're not being reckless in the four hours that I'm gone tomorrow."

"Is this friend a hot babe? Preferably one that speaks little English?" He asked jokingly.

He knew it was a bad joke to make the second he saw her jaw clench and her hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel to the point where he knuckles were white.

"That reminds me, how's your mail order wife?"

"She's nonexistent. Left me after her green card came... funny how all of the women in my life seem to leave me."

"Not all of them have a choice. You do whatever you can to keep people at arm's length, and when you cross the line there is no other choice but to leave you behind."

"So you're telling me that you wouldn't have cut me out of your life if I hadn't forced you to?"

"You drove your fucking car through my dining room! I didn't have any intention of leaving Princeton any time soon until you destroyed my life. We would not be where we are now if it weren't for your bad choices."

"Well I'm sorry. For the hundredth fucking time, I am sorry."

"I'm tired of hearing it House. Words don't matter. Actions matter. If you're really sorry, you'll show me so."

"You'll see it when I get the chance to show you."

* * *

_Leave your thoughts in a review, I love hearing all of your feedback! _


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello lovelies! I appreciate all of the reviews and am sorry I haven't replied to the ones for the most recent chapter yet - I started college this week so I've been a bit busy - but I'll get to them, I promise! In the meantime, here's the next chapter. Be generous with the reviews, if we can get to over 100 from the reviews on this chapter, you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter, and believe me, you'll want the next chapter ASAP. ;)_

* * *

She was nothing more than completely irritated when her car had burst one of its tires and whilst she had attempted – and failed at - changing it, it had started to pour. Cuddy let out an irritated sigh as she reentered the car, bringing the heat up as high as it could go, and pulling out her cellphone to call a repair truck.

She had only been driving for half an hour before they had heard the popping sound of the back right tire of her SUV and pulled over. It had been almost five pm when they had started their hour and half long journey to Manhattan and after trying to change the tire for over half an hour before the rain, it was now nearing six o'clock. She was tired and irritated, and the half an hour of driving so far had been spent mostly arguing with House and it had left her emotionally drained.

She managed to reach a car service, only to be informed that they would be able to pick up her car, but the tire would not be able to be fixed until the previous morning, due to the fact that it was a Saturday night, and the mechanic's closed at 7.

"Fantastic." She murmured to herself as she ran a hand along her hair face in frustration.

She waited for the tow truck, completely ignoring the man who was currently sitting beside her.

He would show her that he was a different man when she gave him the chance to see it. The thought almost made her want to laugh in disbelief. He had not shown her a bit of change in the time she had spent with him over the past few days. Not even his attempt at finding out what was wrong with her was a change.

He had always been nosy when it came to her and her feelings and she knew that at some level it was because he actually cared about her, but it was also to feed his own obsessive need to know everything that was currently going on in her life.

If he had indeed changed like he claimed to have, she wanted to him to show her before she even remotely made a choice about keeping him in her life for longer than she intended to. Not that she would ever let him know that a part of her would possibly want him to stay around longer; that was too dangerous. The last thing she wanted was to let herself get emotionally involved with the man, but knowing him, and knowing herself, there was no doubt that before she decided his time with her would be up, they would fall back into their old ways.

When the tow truck finally arrived it was almost seven. She sighed, realizing that they would need to book a hotel room somewhere for the night and continue their journey back to her apartment early the next morning. She called a cab, hoping that it would arrive in the time it took for her car to be driven onto the flatbed of the tow truck.

"Can you get the bags out of the trunk?" She asked, turning to look at House for a moment before getting out of the car and talking to the mechanic. It was the least he could do.

He let her know that her car would be ready for pick up no later than eight the next morning, and that there was a hotel not far from the automotive shop where they could spend the night. She thanked him before handing him her keys after making sure that House had gotten their bags out of the trunk.

"Found an umbrella in the trunk." He said gruffly, handing it to her.

In her irritation she had completely forgotten that she kept a spare umbrella in the trunk in case of emergencies.

"Thank you." She replied opening it and holding it over both of them and their bags.

The mechanic came back to her and handed her the keys to her car along with a business card so she would know where to go in the morning.

"Thanks." She replied stuffing both her keys and the card into her purse just as the cab pulled up.

She was surprised when House opened the door of the cab for her, letting her in first before following suit.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked, looking back at the two through the rear few mirror.

"Whatever hotel is nearest Mike's auto shop."

"Depends where you want to stay. There's a rundown motel, and there's two expensive hotels because Mike's is so close to the city."

"Not the rundown motel for sure."

"Best Western it is."

It took a little over fifteen minutes to reach the hotel and when they were standing at the reservations desk, she was even more displeased to find out that every room was booked but one, that was a single king sized bed. She could have asked for a cot, but she had no intention of sleeping on it after having spent the night on House's couch, and she as irritated as she was with House, she wasn't going to be as cruel as to make him sleep on the cot, knowing that it would only make his leg hurt, and for all she knew he had no Vicodin on him other than what was given to her for his usage. If she was going to have him in her home, she was going to monitor his drug usage. There was no way in hell she was going to risk him getting high while being under her roof, especially not if she was letting him near her daughter.

"You stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine."

"Deal." He replied.

She walked over to the walk in closet of the room and changed into her pajamas.

"Cute." She heard him tease, as she walked out tying her hair into a ponytail.

"Shut up House." She replied before climbing into bed, pulling the covers around her. It was unbelievably cold in the room, and she had attempted to bring up the heat in the room, but the thermostat was broken.

"It's eight pm, are you seriously going to sleep?" He asked her from his position seated in the recliner and flipping through the channels.

"I'm tired, cold, and hungry. Sleep seems like the best choice right now."

"I'm ordering room service and I'm ordering something for you that isn't chicken salad."

"As long as there are no pi –"

"Pickles. I haven't forgotten about your allergy. I've known you far too long to forget it."

She should have known better. Gregory House never forgot anything.

* * *

He had ordered off of the hotel's Italian menu, getting two orders of stuffed shells and garlic bread, along with a side of fries, because the last he recalled, Cuddy had an odd habit of ordering fries and then dipping them in the remainder of her pasta sauce. So when he handed her the containers of her food, he couldn't help but smirk as her eyes widened when she saw what was inside of them.

"Well then."

"Memory never fails me."

"More like memory never fails you when convenient." She replied before catching the bottle of coke he threw in her direction. "I drink diet, not regular."

"No, you drink diet when you're not with me, when you're with me you drink regular because I don't let you eat one-hundred percent healthy. Didn't let you drink diet around me then, won't let you drink diet around me now."

"Some things never change."

He watched as she shook her head, the smallest hint of a smile appearing on her face. They ate their dinners in a comfortable silence, any of the tenseness that had previously been in the air having dissipated.

An hour later he threw out his empty food containers and found Cuddy fast asleep with her half empty containers beside her. He shook his head letting out a small chuckle. Even when they had dated, she would often fall asleep before finishing her dinner when they ordered take out. He'd always put away the remainder of her food and regardless of the amount of pain he was feeling, he'd carry her to bed and pull the covers over her.

At least this time around she was already in bed, and all he had to do was put the remainder of her food in the mini-fridge, and pull the covers over her. He resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head when he did so.

He changed into the pajamas Cuddy had packed for him; it seemed she hadn't forgotten things either. They were a pair of fleece bottoms he'd had for years and was prone to wearing during the cold weather. He smirked as he looked over at her sleeping form in the bed. The more time they spent together, the more he saw that even though they both claimed to have changed, parts of them had never changed at all.

The following morning House awoke to the feeling of something against his person, and when he opened his eyes it was none other than Cuddy's head against his shoulder and her hand against his chest, but that wasn't the worst thing about it; his arm was wrapped securely around her waist. Her hair had fallen out of the tie she had put it in and to the naked eye they would appear to be a couple who had been together for years, not a couple who had barely made it a year in their relationship before falling apart at the seams with devastating consequences.

He ran his fingers against the length of her arm, easily falling into the old habit. She stirred against him and he stiffened. He had no problem with the physical contact; deep down he had been craving it since the moment she had reentered his life. She on the other hand would most likely be displeased with the fact, although it would be ridiculous if she were to completely blame him when she had been the one to make physical contact with him first.

Or maybe he had pulled her against him in his sleep but it didn't matter. What mattered was that he was currently lying in bed with Lisa Cuddy's head on against his shoulder and her hand on his chest, his arm wrapped around her waist. It was as if nothing had ever changed.

He turned his head to look at her, still running his fingers against her arm. For the first time in several days he finally saw her look relaxed and completely at peace. He smiled a bit before allowing himself to go back to sleep.

* * *

She woke up to find herself with her head against the crook of House's shoulder and a hand on his chest. Not only had her body betrayed her and had clung to him like the magnet he was, but she felt his arm around her waist, and instead of it making her feel uncomfortable, it felt like it was the only thing right in the world. She knew it was wrong but it was so _natural_ to her.

She would have pulled herself away from, but in all honesty, she couldn't bring herself to. As much as she hated to give in to the feel of him against her, she had missed it. She had missed having someone's arm wrapped protectively around her. She'd never really gotten to the phase of having someone constantly at her side when she had attempted to date again. The farthest she had gotten in a relationship was spending the night at their place on the rare occasion. No one had been allowed into her home since House, and she was beginning to think that maybe it was meant to be that way. Maybe the only person she was meant to allow into her home was House. Maybe regardless of what happened between them they were meant to be with one another or with no one at all.

She sighed.

"You're awake, and not beating the shit out of me for touching you."

* * *

_Don't forget to leave a review, I know you'll want to. Especially if you want to read the next half of this ASAP. ;) _


	7. Chapter 7

_You guys did what I asked and got it to over 100 reviews, so here's your review. I was amused to the measures some of you went to in order to get the review count up. Although for some of the guest reviewers who are being rather rude about things in this story, why are you reading this if you don't want them to be together? The entire point of this story is for them to reconcile. But whatever, your crude reviews just make the count go up so thanks! Also, the guest reviewers who are having an argument over which cast members suck, please stop. That kind of bullshit isn't welcomed here. I'm really begging you to stop your little argument. PLEASE. I really don't want to have to turn off guest reviews. To those guest reviewers who leave positive comments, thank you all so much! But yes, here's the second part of the chapter, and don't forget to leave a review, maybe you'll be rewarded again. ;)_

* * *

She started at the sound of House's voice and pulled away almost reflexively.

"I can't beat the shit out of you because by the looks of how we were sleeping, I probably rolled into you…" She replied, feeling her face flush in slight embarrassment as she stood and made her way towards the bathroom to shower.

"Old habits die hard! Or not at all in this case…" She heard him call after her as she entered the bathroom.

"Whatever!" She called back. "Don't act like you're innocent in this either, your arm was wrapped around my waist."

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. Are you gonna shower or not, because if you don't I will."

Instead of replying she simply turned on the water and let the sound of it running answer his question. She made sure the door was locked before she stripped and slipped into the shower.

Usually her showers lasted almost an hour but because she needed to pick up her car and House still needed to shower she cut her shower in half. She slipped out of the bathroom and stopped for a second when she realized what she had walked into.

"Ugh, really House? You couldn't have waited to get rid of your morning wood until you were in the shower!?"

"Jesus Christ Cuddy, what happened to your showers lasting an hour!?"

She watched as his hand stopped moving beneath the sheets stopped, obviously embarrassed and flustered that he'd been caught.

"They still last an hour, but because I need to go pick up my car, and you have to shower, I cut it in half!" She replied, feeling herself blush at the current situation.

Had it been another point in time she would have helped him finish what he started, but that was a part of their past.

"Get in the shower so I can change!"

"Why don't you give me an image to help me finish when I get in the shower?" He asked, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"In your dreams bub." She replied, shaking her head in feigned disgust.

"Killjoy." He mumbled before limping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

She could not believe that she had just walked in on House masturbating. It was alike a _very _unwelcomed blast from the past, and she hated to admit that it left her sexually frustrated. She shook the thought; the last thing she needed was sexual fantasies involving House.

* * *

He made a mental note that the next time he shared a room with Cuddy and they _weren't _sexually active with one another, to refrain from attempting to get off while she was in the shower because it would only lead to a repeat of the incident that had just happened, and he wanted to spare himself the embarrassment.

The only reason he had been embarrassed to be walked in on was because he was thinking of her while doing it. Whether or not it crossed her mind that he was using his memory of their past encounters to help him get rid of his erection was not something he wanted to know. He would rather assume that the shock of it had caused her mind to go entirely blank at the situation.

He was surprised that when he made a suggestive comment towards her she hadn't given him a dirty look, or snapped at him. Instead she had feigned disgust. He knew her too well to know that if she had truly been disgusted by his comment she would have scoffed and her eyes would have flared with anger and in this case, neither had occurred.

He stripped and slipped into the shower, any desire to finish what he had started having worn off. The pain in his leg wasn't as bad as it had been when Wilson had died and he wondered if it was because of the meds he had been on while in the hospital or if it was because he and Cuddy were finally beginning to get along after several days of nothing but feuding. He chose the drugs as the reasoning behind his lack of pain. The last thing he wanted was to delude himself into thinking that he and Cuddy would be on any terms other than civil during the time he spent with her.

House took his sweet time in the shower and it wasn't until he heard a knock on the bathroom door almost an hour later that he turned off the water, wrapped the towel around his waist, and pulled the door open.

"We have to check out by eleven and it's nine, so get dressed. Breakfast is free and then we can leave. I want to get back to my place by eleven and I figured if we get out of here by ten, it shouldn't take us too long since we're only half an hour away. Then I can help you get settled a bit and leave to pick up Rachel."

"Give me five minutes." He replied, limping over to his suitcase and grabbing a change of clothes before making his way back towards the bathroom to change.

When he emerged from the bathroom he raised his eyebrow at her expression.

"What are you smirking at?"

"Did you run the towel through your hair?" She asked laughing softly.

He turned and looked at himself in the mirror that was behind him.

His hair was in complete and utter disarray, standing up on all ends. He patted it down, until it wasn't as messy as it had originally been. He usually wouldn't have cared, but he'd do anything to get her to stop giggling.

"Very mature Cuddy, messy hair is _hilarious_." He replied, rolling his eyes. "So are you ready to go or what?"

"Was just waiting on you to get yourself together." She replied before standing and heading towards the door.

He couldn't help but stare at her ass as she walked ahead of him while they made their way down to the hotel's breakfast area.

"Stop staring at my ass when you think I'm not looking."

"I don't think you're not looking, I know you're not looking. You're walking three feet in front of me and I know for a fact that you don't have eyes in the back of your head."

"Touché." She replied before turning her head to look back at him. "But I can see you now, and you are indeed, staring at my ass, so stop it."

He couldn't contain the smirk that ran across his lips.

They reached the breakfast area and he was pleased to see it was an all you can eat buffet. He grabbed a plate and piled food onto it before finding a small booth for two in a corner of the sitting area.

"God, you would think your appetite would change as you grew older but no, you still eat like a teenager."

He looked up from his plate of food, a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth. He swallowed before replying.

"I'm a growing boy, I need my food!" He replied before shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth, smirking as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I want to be out of here in the next forty – five minutes, so don't take too long."

"Do you ever eat anything other than that crap?"

He pointed to the plate in front of her; whole wheat pancakes with a side of fruit salad and a glass of no pulp orange juice.

"Shut up." She replied, shaking her head. "I eat other things. I was just in the mood for this."

"Please tell me you have things in your house that I will be able to actually ingest."

"I don't know. I'll have to take you grocery shopping if there isn't. But that can wait."

"And when exactly do you go to work again?" He asked curiously, wondering how long it would be before he was sent off on his own again.

"I took three weeks off. Because I hadn't gone on vacation in over six months so the board forced me to once they found out about Wilson…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He looked down at his plate, suddenly losing his appetite.

He would never admit that he was feeling better about things now that there was someone in his life who remotely cared about him, and the thought of losing that feeling in a short amount of time was enough to make his heart sink.

"This food is gross. I'm ready to go when you are." He said pushing away his plate.

"Yeah, it kind of is." She replied. She stood and straightened her skirt before motioning for him to leave.

The ride to her apartment lasted a little over twenty minutes and neither had spoken a word the entirety of the journey.

He was too deep into his thoughts and suddenly it was almost as if all of the casual conversation between the two from the previous twenty-four hours had never occurred. The air was tense and he couldn't understand why he was getting the vibe that he wasn't the only one who was deep into their thoughts.

House snapped out of his reverie at the sound of her voice.

"So…this is it."

He looked out the window of the passenger seat as she pulled into an empty space in front of a three story white brick townhouse.

"I though you said you lived in an apartment?"

"I neglected to mention that it was three stories." She replied shrugging as she got out of the car.

He followed after her and limped back towards the trunk, getting out his things before she led him to the front door. He watched as she unlocked the door and they entered the foyer of the home.

The first thing that caught his eye was the winding staircase that led up to the rest of the house. It wasn't something that he would have a problem with, but regardless, he avoided stairs on the days where his leg was too bad.

"Do you want me to take your bag up for you?" She asked, heading in the direction of the stairs.

"No, I can handle it." He replied, although unsure of it himself. His leg wasn't acting up but the bag was at least fifty pounds of extra weight.

"Okay, but go up ahead of me… I just want to make sure…"

"You don't need to explain yourself, I get it."

He took his time going up the stairs, feeling the smallest twinge in his bad leg but not letting it show on his face. He could tell that Cuddy was already beginning to worry about him, and it was the last thing he wanted.

He reached the landing and stepped aside.

"Okay…so this will be your room."

She led him to the room at the farthest end of the hall and opened the door.

The room was a decent size, with a queen sized bed in the middle, a flat screen mounted on the wall across from it, a night stand, and a dresser. It was obviously the room she used as a guest room.

"Do you want to see the rest of the place now or do you want to get settled in?"

"I'll get settled in when you go pick up Rachel." He replied, dropping his things on the bed.

They walked back down the stairs and she showed him the first floor of her new home. It was massively bigger than the house she had owned in Princeton. The floors were all a medium brown wood and the walls were cream colored.

The kitchen had mahogany cabinets and an island in the middle with two chairs on each side. The refrigerator and stove where stainless steel. There was a small gold chandelier above a small circular table. Across from the table was a wine refrigerator and he could see that there were several bottles inside of it through the glass door.

Next was the dining room, which had walls paneled in dark wood. There was a table for eight in the center and another small chandelier above the table. He wondered if she used the area for the occasions when she had the few friends she had over for wine. He wondered if she still had those friends after leaving Princeton.

The living room was the last room she showed him.

There were black leather couches adorning the space, a coffee table in the middle with a TV in front of it. He walked over to the side table that had several framed pictures on it. He picked up one of the frames. It was a picture of Cuddy and Wilson at one of the hospital events years earlier. It was one of the events he hadn't attended, but regardless, the sight of the picture made a part of him ache for those times.

He missed Wilson.

Suddenly he wasn't interested in seeing the rest of the house.

"I think I'm gonna go get settled in…or sleep for a bit…my head hurts."

"Do you want something for the pain?" She asked, furrowing her brow in concern.

"No, it's okay." He replied before heading back up towards the guest room.

* * *

_The next chapter will introduce a new character. __Thoughts? Leave them in your review!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hello lovelies! I was so amused at your guesses of who would be introduced this chapter. You're all wrong, some of those ideas are for the next post series finale reconciliation fic, but nice guesses! The new character is just a friend of Cuddy's, who will in a way help bring House and Cuddy closer. Anyway, her face claim is Tatiana Maslany, who happens to be my icon. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I don't know when I'll be updating again because of college, but I'll try to update as soon as possible._

* * *

She watched him walk out of the room and heard the soft thump of his cane against the stairs with each step he took. She walked over to the table and picked up the frame he had been looking at.

It was a picture of her and Wilson, and her heart sank.

She let out a sad sigh, before heading up the stairs. She slowly and quietly opened the door to the guest room, intent on talking to him about it, instead finding him lying on the bed on his side, his eyes closed. She closed the door and sighed again.

She needed to go pick up Rachel, but at the same time she didn't want to leave him alone. So she pulled out her cellphone and called one of the few friends she had managed to make in the city.

Alicia Thomas was at her door in less than twenty minutes. She was a theatre major who went to Tisch as well as being Rachel's baby sitter, and one of Cuddy's few friends. She was nineteen, with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. She was actually one of the cutest people Cuddy had ever met, and it was when she had treated her in the ER for a gash on her arm from falling off of a platform during a rehearsal of NYU's production of "Macbeth".

It wasn't until she had needed a baby sitter that she had stumbled across her again when one of the hospital's employees had recommended her. It wasn't until she had met her that she realized they had met before. That had been a year earlier, and they had easily become quick friends.

"I'm hereeeee!" Alicia announced, taking off her coat and hanging it on the hanger near the door.

Cuddy had been seated at the bottom of the stairs waiting, lost deep in thought.

"Well then, hello to you too…"

"Sorry." Cuddy replied, standing and greeting her friend.

"Hello tenseness." Alicia responded, as they hugged. "I can feel those knots in your shoulders."

"Yeah, a lot's been going on… But anyway, he's upstairs sleeping. I'll be back in less than two hours. I'm just going to go pick up Rachel from my mom's."

"Does mother dearest know the ex is staying with you?" The younger woman asked raising an eyebrow.

"No…I'm going to drop it on her eventually, just not today."

"Well then. I'll be here when you get back of course. Babysitting a grown man, this should be…interesting."

"He's a handful. He's the mix of a genius and an eight year old. Call me if he does anything reckless, I don't know if there's any food in the fridge, but help yourself to anything you can find."

With that she was gone.

When she reached her mother's it was almost three in the afternoon. She pulled out the spare key she had and opened the door only to be greeted by her mother's golden retriever Sammy. It was oddly quiet and she wondered where her mother and daughter where.

She walked into the living room finding her mother asleep on the couch.

"Mom." She said softly, shaking her awake. "Where's Rachel?"

"She's upstairs in the guest room." Arlene replied before shutting her eyes again.

"I'll make sure to lock the door on the way out, come over for dinner on the first night of Chanukah, okay?"

She rolled her eyes as her mother responded with a snore.

She walked upstairs and opened the door to the guest room, finding Rachel lying on the floor with Jack, their black golden retriever.

She had adopted Jack on a whim when she had agreed to take her mother to the animal shelter when she had insisted on adopting another dog suddenly missing an animal in her home after several years. The shelter had just gotten in a litter of six week old retriever puppies and Jack had been the odd ball of the litter, the only one lacking the golden coat the breeds where famous for.

It had been love at first sight.

The second she had stuck her finger into the cage, he had been the first one to approach her and nip at her fingers. She couldn't resist taking him home; Rachel had been asking for a dog since they had moved and since her new job allowed her more flexible hours, it was a sealed deal.

Her mother had adopted one of the pups from the litter as well, and they had left the shelter that day with their respective pets. Jack hadn't been named until she had taken him home to Rachel, who had chosen the name after the character from _Pirates of the Caribbean_. His full name was actually Jack Sparrow.

"Momma!" Rachel shrieked, standing and running towards her.

Cuddy smiled as she picked up her daughter and wrapped her arms around her as she felt Jack brush himself against her legs excitedly.

"I missed you _so much_ honey." She said softly, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She honestly had missed Rachel with all of her being. Having spent almost a week away from her little girl had left her longing to hold her favorite person again. She held Rachel against her for what felt like minutes before putting her down.

"Let's get your stuff and Jack's leash, we're going home. Alicia's here with someone waiting for us."

She grabbed Rachel's bag and hooked on Jack's leash before ushering them out of her mother's house and into the car. She made sure Rachel was securely buckled into her car seat before finally heading back towards her house, with Jack's head in her lap.

When she reached her home again, it was near six pm, the sun having set an hour earlier now that daylights saving had ended.

"Come on boy." She said taking Jack's leash and letting him out of the car through the driver's side before letting Rachel out of her car seat and grabbing her bag before heading inside the house.

She let go of Jack's leash and watched as he ran up the stairs, knowing he would most likely climb into her bed.

"Rachel, go upstairs and play with Jack ok? I'll call you down when dinner gets here okay honey?"

"Kay!" The little girl replied before running off after the dog.

Cuddy heard the sound of laughter emitting from her living room and was surprised to find House and Alicia sitting on the couches and deep into some conversation about what sounded like theatre.

"Tartuffe is easily one of the greatest plays ever written. Dorine may be a meddler, but she is the best character in it."

"I concur. She's so witty and sarcastic though, even if she's surrounded by idiots."

"Being surrounded by idiots just makes her even more sarcastic than she already is." House commented, taking a sip from the can of coke in front of him.

"…This was definitely not what I was expecting to find…" Cuddy said as she motioned for Alicia to move her legs so she could sit down, only to have her legs placed in her lap the second she had sat down.

"I do have _some _people skills Cuddy. Don't lose faith in me."

"If I had lost faith in you House, you wouldn't be sitting here right now."

She realized what she had said and could feel the blush running to her cheeks.

"I don't know if the fact that you call each other by their last names is cute or weird." Alicia commented, and Cuddy could feel her friend's eyes on the two. Alicia was extremely good at reading people, and she had no doubt that the younger woman was obviously getting a vibe from the exchange between herself and House.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Cuddy asked, turning to look at her friend.

"Nah, I told Tom I'd go out to eat with him when I got back."

"When did you guys get back together?" She asked wrinkling her nose in disproval.

"Like three days ago. I was going to call you, but I remembered you were out of town."

"Okay, but when it falls apart again, don't come to me because I'll only say I told you so. You deserve so much better than that."

"Thanks for the mini lecture, I swear you're more like a mother than my actual mother is."

She rolled her eyes at the naivety of her friend as Alicia's feet left her lap.

"I'm gonna go say hi to Rachel, and then I'll be gone. Call me if you need anything, or a baby sitter, for either one of them."

"I don't need a sitter." House replied.

"No, you don't but you're way too entertaining to not be able to get some more of that in my life when I need it." The younger woman replied before exiting the room.

"I like her; you actually have a friend I approve of. Nice Cuddy."

"I like her too. She's a good kid. Except for that boyfriend of hers."

"Yes, but you can't be one to judge someone's significant others. Your last one went off the wagon."

"How do you know you were my last one?"

She hadn't seriously dated since they had been together, but she couldn't help but screw with him.

"Was I?"

"Yeah, you were the last serious one. There some guys I dated here and there but it never lasted more than a few dates. But that's beside the point, you may have done something completely reckless and dangerous, but you never cheated on me…or got violent with me during an argument."

"He hit her?"

"No, but he almost did." She replied bitterly. "They were having dinner one night in their apartment and they got into a heated argument and he picked up the glass beside him and smashed it against the wall behind her. She was literally less than a foot away from where the glass hit the wall. She called me when it happened, hysterical. So I picked her up and she spent the night here."

"How long ago was this?"

"Almost a month ago. She broke up with him the next day, which is why I'm unclear as to why they suddenly got back together."

"Wow."

"Yeah…"

"I am leaving!" They heard Alicia call from the door before hearing it shut behind her.

"So...do you want to say hi to Rachel now, or before dinner?"

* * *

He was more nervous than he would ever admit about interacting with Rachel again. His heart was literally pounding as he limped up the stairs behind Cuddy.

He followed after her as she walked toward the bedroom directly across from hers and opened the door. He stopped a few feet away from the door.

"Rachel, there's someone here I want you to meet okay?"

He stepped into the room when Cuddy motioned him to come forward.

"This is –"

"House?" He heard the little girl reply as she approached him.

He was astounded at how much the little girl had changed in the last two years. She had grown at least six inches and her brown locks were tied back in a long pony tail. Her face was no longer as round as that of the three year old he had come to love.

"Hey pipsqueak." He said softly as he squatted down to eye level with her, using the nickname he had given her when he had still been a part of her life.

"AYE YA BLOODY SCALLYAWAG." She responded, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him.

There was not a moment's hesitation before he enveloped the girl into his arms.

There was a low growling sound and from the corner of his eye House could see a dark mass approaching him.

"Jack, behave." Cuddy scolded, and House released Rachel to see that the mass was what appeared to be a black golden retriever.

The dog had his teeth bared and House would have been frightened had he not taken on bigger things than a hundred pound mutt in his lifetime.

"It's ok Jack, he's good!" Rachel said approaching the dog and wrapping her arms around him. House watched as the dog's demeanor changed from ready for battle to friendly household pet.

"How do you feel about having pizza for dinner Rach?" He heard Cuddy ask from beside him.

"Yes please!"

He smirked at her enthusiastic reply. Her appearance may have changed since he had last seen her, but her love for pizza had not.

"I'm sorry, he's usually very friendly when it comes to meeting new people." Cuddy replied, as they walked out of the room and down the stairs.

"It's fine. Dogs can pick up the scent of bad people, it was fine for the mutt to bare his teeth. He knows I'm no good."

"God, shut up."

He raised an eyebrow at her in curiosity.

"You're already here; pointing out how bad of a person you are isn't going to change that fact or my mind. What happened to showing me you've changed? Pointing out your faults isn't a change, you've always done that."

"It's a force of habit. I'm not doing it on purpose."

"I'm not saying you are, but it's just tiring to hear the same thing over and over again."

"Wow, already sick of me after twenty-four hours of being around me, let's see how long it takes for you to kick me out."

They had reached the landing and were facing one another. His arms were crossed and one of her hands was on her head as she looked down at the ground, the other resting on her hip.

"I know what you're doing." She looked up at him, her hand dropping away from her face and to her side.

"You're trying to get me change my mind about this and back down. You're trying to push my buttons and it's not going to work House."

"I'm not doing anything Cuddy. I'm being honest with you. You know how I am, and no matter how hard I will try to show you that I've changed, and that I'm sorry, at one point I will fuck things up and do something wrong, and you will kick me to the curb like you did when you broke up with me. I made one mistake, and I was going to prove to you that I would never do it again and instead of accepting my apology and letting myself show you that I meant it, you tossed me out with the trash."

"I'm not a perfect person, I made mistakes in my life, and breaking up with you at that point in time was one of them. If I hadn't done that we would have never have gotten to the point where we are now, where the only reason I'm allowing you back into my life is because Wilson asked me to in his will. Because in the end this is all happening because he asked me to do this."

"You know damned well that Wilson is not the reason you're letting me back into your life."

He knew too well that if she had wanted nothing to do with him at all she would have ignored Wilson's wishes. She wasn't doing it because Wilson had asked her to; she was doing it because she wanted to do it, because he knew that her need to nurture him was greater than her need to allow herself to turn her back on him in his time of need.

The only time she had ever done that had been when he had relapsed during her cancer scare and they both knew that had led them down the path they were currently in. He knew she wasn't going to allow history to repeat itself and leave him in a moment of need because if she had left him and his suicide attempt had been a success, her perverse sense of guilt would have eaten her alive.

"Do you want cheese or pepperoni?" She asked, catching him completely off guard.

She took a step forward and looked up at him and he saw the fire in her eyes he had seen so many times in the past during the middle of their sparring matches in the hospital. Everything he had ever felt towards her came rushing back after having spent the last five days fighting off the urge to pin her up against a wall.

Before he could stop himself, he had her pressed against the wall, his lips finding hers, and her hands finding themselves pulling him closer.

He was in awe at the fact that although two years had passed she still felt the same pressed against him. That her lips were still as soft as he had remembered them to be, that her hands still ran themselves over his shoulders in the same frantic and needy way they had always done so in the past.

He pulled away.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

* * *

**_Thoughts?_**


	9. Chapter 9

_I wasn't planning on updating today, but then this happened. Also I am totally and completely looking forward to Lisa's pilot. But anyway, here's the next chap, I'll update again ASAP!_

* * *

She ran a hand through her hair as she watched House retreat back towards the second level of the house.

_"Holy shit." _She thought to herself as she found herself running her fingers over her lips.

That had been one hell of a kiss and it left her mind whirring. She shook any thoughts of it before pulling out her cellphone and ordering dinner.

* * *

"So you still like pirates?" House asked the five year old between a mouth full of breadstick, watching as Cuddy wrinkled her nose in disgust at him for speaking with his mouth full.

They were seated at the small circular table in the kitchen, attempting to enjoy the pepperoni and vegetable pizza and breadsticks Cuddy had ordered from a pizza place around the corner.

"They're the coolest thing _ever._" Rachel replied excitedly before taking a bite of her vegetable pizza.

"I've never met a kid who actually liked eating vegetable pizza." He commented looking over at Cuddy, who was in the middle of chewing a bite out of her slice of pepperoni.

"Yeah, well Rach is one of a kind. I mean I hated vegetable pizza growing up and as you gladly like to so often point out, I seem to live off of just salad these days."

"Good thing I'm going to change that while I'm here!" He responded with mock enthusiasm. "I'll make sure you gain at least ten pounds by the time I leave here by keeping all of the junk food you like to deprive yourself of! Like those cookies you love so much."

He smirked as she rolled her eyes, letting out a small laugh.

"You and I both know I don't like to eat sweets often."

"Cuddy please, your metabolism is so fast that you could eat McDonald's every day and you still wouldn't weigh over one-twenty. Plus that hour and a half of yoga you do every morning? And walking in four inch heels twenty-four-seven? Come on, as if loosening up a bit would do you any harm."

"Sometimes mommy will eat an entire sleeve of Oreos."

"Rachel!"

"Up high for outing your mom's little secret kid."

He gave her a high five, basking in Cuddy's small embarrassment at having her guilty pleasure outed.

"It's only around that time of the month."

"Keep deluding yourself to that."

He grabbed another slice of pizza from the box and devoured it in two bites before going for another, this time one of the vegetable slices.

"And you, eating vegetables?" Cuddy questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Wilson…wanted me to be a little healthier…You know the constant junk food isn't good for the heart."

Suddenly, he didn't have much of an appetite again.

"Sooo, Rachel. Tell me about your favorite things." He deflected quickly, wanting to avoid a conversation about Wilson.

He spent the next half an hour listening intently as the five year old went on and on about how much she loved pirates and seeing musicals with Alicia, and how sometimes on weekends her mom took her the museum to look at what she referred to as "the coolest things _ever_". He noted the slightest lisp in the child's voice and how her blue eyes lit up when she was the center of attention.

"And Alicia is my favorite person other mommy, but don't tell grandma or aunt Julia that I said that because they'd get mad at me because they don't really like Alicia, but I don't care because I love her and she's the best baby sitter _ever_. She's like my big sister."

"She's cool that Alicia, huh?" He asked, curious to learn more about the teenager he had met hours earlier.

"Yeah! She takes me to the park and she reads plays to me and she's the best actress ever and she's going to be famous one day and she said that when she is she'll take me to meet the real Captain Jack Sparrow. And sometimes when mommy's sad Alicia will come over with brownies and – "

"I think it's time for you to go to bed!" Cuddy announced quickly, standing from her seat at the table and lifting Rachel out of her own seat.

"But moooom! I want to keep talking to House!" The child whined and he couldn't help but shake his head.

"The Cuddy women can't help but fall for me….unless they're your aunt Julia…" He responded.

"Say good night Rachel."

"But – "

"No buts young lady, you have school in the morning."

"Good night House."

"Good night kid. We can talk more tomorrow; you can tell me all of your mom's secrets." He teased.

He was curious as to what Rachel was about to say before Cuddy cut her off, but he knew that he would find out sooner or later, and if Cuddy wouldn't tell him, he'd probably get it out of Alicia.

* * *

She put Rachel to bed and then went into her own bedroom and showered, before deciding to retreat to bed.

She spent the night tossing and turning, her mind controlling her body and keeping her awake with the thoughts eating at her and the countless replays of what had occurred between herself and House hours earlier.

He had kissed her. And in the heat of the moment she had kissed back.

She had let her resistance fall the moment she had felt his lips against her own and his hands gripping her waist as she had been so accustomed to having them in the past. Of course her hands had instinctively drawn him closer; all her body ever did was betray her when she was in close proximities with him. Even in her sleep she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and it scared her.

It felt so completely right for her to be around House even though it was completely wrong. The man had driven his car through her dining room, and yes she was still struggling with that fact even two years later but the truth of the matter was that deep down she would always be drawn to him no matter how unhealthy it was to be drawn to someone who destroyed almost everyone and everything around them.

But that was the thing.

He wasn't being as destructive as she had known him to be.

If he wanted to be as destructive as he had been in the past he would have done everything he could have to avoid going home with her. He would have discharged himself from the hospital before she could have even had a chance to convince him to let her keep an eye on him for a few weeks.

He wasn't fighting her as he did so often in the past.

He was no longer as resilient towards her as he had once been.

He had told her that he had changed and she was starting to slowly see that he had changed.

She couldn't shake the image from her mind of House hugging Rachel.

It was the most sincere gesture she had seen out him since they had reentered one another's lives. The fact that her daughter had remembered him, and practically jumped into his arms and he had not hesitated or flinched at all, was the complete opposite of the first time anything had ever happened between the two.

She remembered how the first time Rachel had dropped herself into his lap years earlier he had hesitated for a moment before looking over at her before awkwardly putting his hand against Rachel's back in a futile attempt to feel comfortable with the situation.

That hadn't been the case this time around. It was almost as if he had embraced the interaction with her daughter, and when they had eaten dinner later on in the evening, the air between the two adults filled with discomfort, he had been glad to hear her five – year old talk about her interests and her likes and dislikes, and it wasn't the façade that adults usually put on when talking to her daughter.

It was genuine interest.

He completely gave her child his total attention, even throwing in a comment here or there about how they shared a common interest or if he wanted to know more about the child's life.

Some things about him had changed.

But of course others had not.

They avoided discussion of the kiss and she couldn't let him fully take the blame for that because she had no clue what the discussion would lead to, she felt that it was not a conversation for her to start.

She had started almost every discussion they had had in the last few days and the one discussion he had attempted to start she had shut him out. He had been the one to kiss her. He should be the one starting the conversation. She had no intention of being the only one who was willing to take any steps toward mending their broken relationship because she knew that regardless of what happened in the span of the three weeks he stayed with her, they would always be a part of one another's lives and the past five days had proven that.

But when he did attempt to start a conversation, pressing her as to why she had let him back into her life, she had deflected.

She was lying to herself about Wilson's request being the reason she let House back in, and using that as a ploy to make herself believe that the only reason her borderline sociopathic ex-boyfriend was in her home was because her dead friend had asked her to keep an eye on him, and after his attempted suicide attempt it was the right thing to do.

But of course that was not the reason she had allowed him back into her life at all.

There was a sense of normalcy in having him back in her life because he had been a part of it for so long. Having him back in it was not something that was hard to adjust to, even though the circumstances of her having cut him off were enough for other people, people who were clearly much more sane than she was to have filed restraining orders so restrictive that the other person was to be miles away instead of letting them back in with only little hesitation.

She was insane. Completely and utterly insane for allowing the man who had ruined her life back into it because her feelings were going to drown her if she didn't, and the last thing she wanted was to feel like she was drowning again.

She let out a sigh, cursing herself for deflecting when he had commented on how she wasn't doing it because Wilson had asked her to. She was never the one to deflect a conversation; on the contrary she had always been the one to try to push the conversation into happening in her own passive aggressive manner.

Why wasn't she able to tell him the truth?

Because she was terrified of what hearing herself say the truth out loud would mean. Because she was terrified of allowing herself to let her feelings take control for once instead of letting the rational part of her that was screaming at her about how wrong the situation was control her.

She was pulled out of her reverie by the sound of scratching at her door, and she pulled the covers off of herself and padded over to the door, knowing that it would be the dog wanting to spend the night in her bed.

As much she knew he adored Rachel, she also knew that her daughter could get tiring and when the dog had had enough of the child, he'd always retreat to her bedroom.

"Hey, boy." She cooed after getting back into bed and the dog resting his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through the canine's soft black fur and he whimpered in response and she knew he could tell that she wasn't completely herself.

She'd always heard how animals could sense when their owners where distressed whether physically or emotionally, and from the moment she had taken him home, Jack had always been able to sense when she was emotionally stressed. She was glad to have some sort of comfort when she couldn't seek it in the person who mattered.

* * *

Dinner had gone better than he had expected it to go considering the given circumstances. He'd decided to focus most of his attention on Rachel instead of making Cuddy more uncomfortable than he was already sure she was, and was glad to give his attention to someone who wasn't as damaged as he was. Especially when he knew that if he hadn't decided to learn more about Rachel, the conversation would have turned to Wilson, and that was not what he wanted.

Wilson would be discussed another day, when the wound was not still fresh, and did not pain him as much to talk about.

Shaking the thoughts of his best friend, his mind went back to the one thought that he couldn't shake.

He shouldn't have kissed her.

He had left his actions simmer in his mind for a few hours and could not help but beat himself up for it.

He kept mentally repeating the mantra to himself as he lay in bed after dinner, wondering what the hell had been going through his mind when he did it.

The need of feeling her against him disregarding any other emotion he was feeling at the point in time. That was what had been going through his mind when he pressed her up against the wall and pressed his lips against hers, his hands having moved down to what felt to be their rightful place on her hips, and her hands finding their way back to his shoulders where they belonged.

He had been so relieved when he had felt her kiss back, her tongue running across his bottom lip as her hands pulled him nearer to her. They had clung to him in a matter of milliseconds after his lips had found hers and he could not believe that she had not rejected him. He had been afraid that she would have pushed him away and rejected his kiss, or even worse, that she would have been completely and utterly disgusted and if she had reacted that way he wouldn't have blamed her. Instead she had almost melted into him the way she had when he'd kissed her that way in the past, and it terrified him.

He knew that if they fell back into their old ways, he would inevitably fuck up. And that was the last thing he wanted to do when it came to Lisa Cuddy.

He was no good for her.

He was toxic and she was better off without him.

* * *

She felt like she was rising from the dead when her alarm went off at seven. She'd decided to skip her morning yoga routine after not having been able to fall asleep until well past three in the morning.

Cuddy yawned before getting out of bed and walking out of her bedroom and walking into Rachel's.

"Good morning starshine! The Earth says hello!" She said enthusiastically, quoting one of Rachel's favorite movies as she opened the blinds and let the sun shine into the room, laughing softly as her daughter groaned in protest.

"Get up sleepy head!" She continued when the girl refused to get up. She pulled the covers off of her and shook her head as Rachel pulled one of her pillows over herself. She waited a few more seconds before watching as her daughter grumpily climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

"Meet you downstairs in ten minutes for breakfast okay?" She called after her.

She heard her daughter's sound of acknowledgement before retreating to her own bathroom to get ready.

She considered waking House for breakfast but decided against it. She knew how much he loved to sleep in when he got the chance and she needed to go food shopping later on in the day anyway since she knew she had virtually no food in her house anyway.

When she was fully dressed and pampered she made her way down the stairs, Jack at her heels and pulled out a box of cereal, a bowl, and milk for Rachel's breakfast before pouring a bowl of dry food for Jack and grabbing a yogurt for herself.

"Where's House?" Rachel asked the moment she entered the kitchen.

"Sleeping."

"Aw man." She replied frowning, before pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

"Do you not want milk with your cereal today?" Cuddy asked as she noted her daughter was eating her cereal dry.

"No thanks. Can I have juice?"

"Apple, orange, or grape?"

"Apple."

She grabbed the carton of milk and returned it to its spot on the door of the fridge before grabbing one of the bottles of apple juice and handing it to her.

"What do you want me to make you for lunch?"

"Can I take left over pizza?"

"And what are you going to do to eat it up?"

"I can eat it cold, duh mom."

She shook her head at her daughter's response.

She was only five and sometimes she acted as if she was the smartest person in the room.

She packed lunch for her daughter, before grabbing Jack's leash and putting Rachel's empty cereal bowl into the sink.

Rachel's school was conveniently just four blocks away from their home, and she took advantage of that fact every morning and walked the dog as she took Rachel to school.

They walked over to the door and Cuddy put Rachel's coat on first, making sure her daughter would be warm. It was almost Thanksgiving and the air had become extremely cold; the last thing she wanted was for her daughter to get sick. She put on her own coat before whistling for Jack to come to her. She clipped on his leash and they were gone.

When she returned over half an hour later, it was eerily quiet. She thought nothing of it, knowing that it was only nine in the morning and that House would still be sleeping. She released Jack from his leash and made her way up to her own room, deciding to take a small nap since she had gotten so little sleep the night before.

She woke two hours later and remembered that she needed to go shopping for food, and not being sure what House would want, she walked down the hall and knocked on the door of his bedroom.

When there was no reply, she opened the door to find the room empty.

* * *

_**Thoughts? ;) Oh, and I'm going to try to write lengthier chapters, so updates might come slower. But thanks for putting up with me, it means the world to me that you guys enjoy this story! xx**_


	10. Chapter 10

He was sitting on a bench at a small park a few blocks away from Cuddy's townhouse, thinking. He had slipped out at around nine-thirty. He had meant to tell Cuddy where he was going but when he stopped by her bedroom he found her fast asleep and decided against waking her up. Instead he grabbed his coat, intent on getting to know the city he was in for a bit.

He had reached the park just when his leg had started to ache, but he'd purposely left his bottle of Vicodin behind. He needed to begin to detach himself from the drug, and the fact that he had stolen a bottle from the hospital didn't help his cause. He needed to do a lot of things, but he figured that he would start with the little ones.

He dug the heel of his hand into his thigh, attempting to soothe the aching muscle.

One of the things he needed to do was talk to Cuddy, properly talk to her about what was going on between them. Her reaction to his kiss had been the first thing on his mind when he had awoken. He wasn't able to get over the fact that she had kissed back.

After everything he had done to her that should have made her repulsed to be around him, _she had kissed back_.

He knew that deep down she had to still have feelings for him. If she didn't, she wouldn't have agreed to let him back into her life. There was no way in hell that she was doing this to fulfill Wilson's last request from her. No one would go to the lengths she was going to for an ex who had rammed his car through her dining room just because their dead friend had asked them to make sure said ex was okay. She would not have let him back into her life if she still didn't feel something towards him.

He still had feelings for her. Feelings he had tried to bury for the last two years because he knew it was not right for him to still harbor those feelings. He had ruined her life. He didn't have right to feel something for her when he had destroyed everything she had known. It wasn't okay for him to miss her when it had been his fault she had gone in the first place. He had driven her out of his life. He wasn't allowed to miss her.

But he had. He'd missed her since they had broken up. He'd been reckless and driven his car through her home, fled the country for three months, and when he had returned, he'd gone to jail because he needed to punish himself for what he'd done to her. He hated himself because the entire time she had been gone, he had missed her. If he had thought about how terrible his life would be without her in it, he would have never done what he did, but he had and he couldn't change that.

But he could change the way things between them were at the current point in time. He could talk to her and tell her how he felt. He could show her how much he needed her in his life and how important she was to him, even after everything that had happened between the two.

He could finally apologize to her; a proper apology, not the ones he had given her throughout the past week. Not the words he had murmured after he had pulled away from kissing her last night. He would tell her how sorry he truly was.

"House?"

He was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of his name. He looked up from the crack in the sidewalk that had apparently earned his attention as he lost himself deep into his thoughts to find Alicia standing before him.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? Lisa called me telling me you disappeared and she's sort of freaking out. She thinks you're gone. You couldn't have left her a note before wandering off around upper Manhattan?"

"What time is it?"

"It's almost one."

"Shit…I didn't plan to be gone for so long…I was planning on coming back before she woke up…"

"Yeah, well she found an empty bedroom when she went to tell you she wanted to take you grocery shopping, and she's looking for you. She's going to have an…"

He noted that the young woman cut herself off and suddenly remembered the comment Rachel made the previous night about Alicia coming over whenever Cuddy was upset.

"Do you come over a lot when Cuddy's upset?"

"Yeah, she's the older sister I never had. She's there when I need her and I'm there when she needs me. She hasn't told you about her…issue, has she?" Alicia asked, sighing as she ran a hand through her brown locks.

"Issue?" He asked, assuming the worst.

"I take that as a no." She replied, sitting down beside him on the bench.

"She's not dying is she?"

"Well then, what are you waiting for on telling me?"

"It's not in my place to tell you about her problems. Talk to her about it, and let her tell you. It's not something for me to be openly discussing with you."

"Are you sure you're only nineteen?" He asked, not understanding how it was possible for someone so young to be so mature.

"I'm actually a nine-hundred and four." She replied, letting out a small laugh.

"Okay then Doctor Who." He replied rolling his eyes.

"No way? You got that reference?"

"Wilson…was a pop culture freak…We spent his last few weeks watching the entirety of the series…"

"Oh…Well, uhm I think we should head to the house…Let her know you're okay because she's probably not okay. She really cares about you…Even though what you did to her was kind of insane, but she really does care about you, a lot."

"How much did she tell you about us?" He asked using his cane for support as they stood from the bench, curious as to why the teenager was so taken to him regardless of the fact that she was aware of his past.

"She told me about _that_, but I don't know your reasoning for that, so I'm not going to judge you because it's not my place. But she did tell me that your relationship was the longest of her adult life. Which is kind of sad considering you two were together for what? Nine, ten months?"

"Two-hundred and ninety four days. We were together for two-hundred and ninety four days. Longest relationship either of us had had in years."

"You cared about her a lot?"

"A lot is an understatement. She was…the most important person in my life."

"Did you ever tell her that?"

"No."

"You should let her know what."

* * *

Her anxiety levels were through the roof. She was on the verge of having a breakdown, and it took everything in her to not take one of her pills. She would not allow herself to ever become dependent of the medication. If she didn't need to take one, she would avoid it.

But she didn't know how much longer she would be able to avoid it for.

He'd been gone for who knew how long. She'd woken up almost three hours ago to find the guest room empty and had driven to the bus port, and had even gone down to the subway to check if he was taking the metro anywhere. She couldn't call the police and file a missing persons report; he was still dead to the world, doing that would only cause even more problems.

When she had run out of ideas, she had called Alicia to see if she would help her look for him as soon as she had gotten out of class, and of course her friend had agreed to do so.

She heard the front door open and she left her position at the kitchen table and nearly ran into the foyer.

"You ASSHOLE." She all but yelled as she spotted him standing there sheepishly with Alicia at his side. "Alicia, Rachel gets out in fifteen minutes because it's an early release day, could you pick her up and take her to the park for a little while please? I'll call you when I'm finished here."

"Sure thing, but don't forget to use protection! I only agreed to babysit Rachel, not another little one!"

Cuddy couldn't help but scoff as the door closed behind Alicia.

"Where were you!?" She asked, her voice raising almost an octave in annoyance as she smacked him in the chest.

"I went for a walk and found a park a few blocks from here and sat down. I needed some time to think." He replied flinching a bit at her advance. She couldn't help but roll her eyes in response.

"You couldn't have left a note? Like a decent human being?"

"You were asleep, and your mutt was at the foot of your bed. I didn't want to leave a note in case he tried to bite me. My leg is fucked up enough, the last thing I need is a dog ripping out another chunk of muscle."

"That's not a valid excuse. Do you have any idea how worried I was? You left your room to look like it was empty, I thought you'd fled –"

"I was being a decent human being and not leaving a mess in the room. All of my stuff is in the closet and the drawers. If you'd have checked, you'd have seen it there."

She mentally reprimanded herself for not having thought of that before having assumed the worst. That he had walked out on her after she had let him back in.

"Why did it matter if I left or not? I mean it's not like you want me here. I am here because Wilson asked you to keep an eye on me for a bit, am I not?"

She bit her lip, contemplating on whether or not to tell him the truth.

"No. You're not."

"Then why am I here Cuddy? What exactly is going on here?"

"I don't know House, I don't know what's going on here." She replied honestly, turning away from him and sighing.

"Cuddy…" She felt his hand on her elbow, turning her to face him. "We need to talk about where this is going." He said softly, his eyes downcast and avoiding her glance.

"This is…insane…_I _am insane. I shouldn't still feel this way, I shouldn't still care…You rammed your car into my house. You could have killed me, you could have killed Rachel if she had been home, and yet still…still I let you back into my life and I am insane for doing so…for feeling like this. You fucked me up beyond repair House…You left me so destroyed that I've been on anti-anxiety pills since I left, because the anxiety and the disbelief that you had done something I had never imagined you capable of was killing me…Yet, these past few days…have been the only days where I haven't felt like I was drowning… It's not normal for me to feel this way. No sane woman would still be in love with the man who destroyed her life."

"What?"

"I…I'm still in love with you. I tried to move on. I tried to see other people; I tried to forget about you. I tried to erase you from my entire life…but I couldn't. Every time I thought I was over you, I would stumble across something that reminded me of you. A stones song would come on, or I'd find a picture of us from when we were together somewhere, or that stupid blue shirt of yours that I kept, or someone would say something, and it would all come rushing back to me."

She felt a wave of relief wash over her as she put the emotions that were threatening to drown her for the last few days out in the open.

She had nothing left to lose.

* * *

He could not believe the words that had just left her mouth. He knew that she still felt something for him, it was the only logical explanation as to why she had ever let him back into her life. But he was not expecting that.

"I'm sorry that I did this to you. You deserve better than me and I'm sorry that I fucked you over so badly that you had to part with a hospital you had built up to be what it was…You deserve better than a man who left you so emotionally screwed that you need to take anti-anxiety pills because what I did was so crazy that - "

"No. You don't get to tell me what I deserve. I know what I deserve."

"Let me finish…I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for driving my car through your dining room, I'm sorry for fleeing the country afterwards instead of manning up to what I did. I'm sorry for not having been capable of being there for you when you needed me to be there. I know that two little words won't change what happened because words don't matter, actions matter, but I'm sorry Cuddy."

"I know you're sorry and I accept your apology. But you're right. Words don't matter, actions do. And I can see that you're trying to show me you've changed. The fact that you took the action to apologize means more to me than you can imagine because you took the first step and apologized for the worst thing you've ever done to me. No, it doesn't excuse what you did but I know you're genuinely sorry for what you did. I forgive you… But I need to apologize for some things too…"

He raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth she was referring to when they both knew that he had committed the greatest error in their history by driving his car through her home.

"Wipe that look off of your face House…we've both made mistakes throughout the course of our relationship. It's not all on you. I was never the perfect girlfriend either… I was controlling and I tried to change you, even after I told you I didn't want you to change. _I _was the one who let our personal and private lives mix when I got upset with you for lying to me to save a patient…I was a bad girlfriend…and then we broke up and we were both hurt and I just… I shouldn't have lied to you when you asked me if I was seeing someone. I mean I wasn't, but I should have just told you about that dumb date my sister set me up on."

When she mentioned that her sister had set her up with the man he had seen in her home that day, it clicked. Her sister was overbearing and controlling and he knew that she would not have quit until Cuddy had finally agreed to go out with the man.

"I thought you were hiding him from me. So when I went to return your hairbrush and I saw him there…where I once was…I felt like everything that we had meant nothing to you. Because it was so soon afterwards and you were already with someone else."

"You married a hooker!"

"But she meant nothing to me. It was a business venture. She got her green card, I got a maid. We never even had sex. But seeing you with someone else, even after you had said you weren't seeing anyone…I was angry…and possessive…because a part of me thought that because we had finally had that post break up fight, that maybe we could work our way back to where we were as a couple, and I saw you with your hand on his arm and I snapped…I can't stand the thought of you with someone else."

"Well you don't have to worry about that do you? Because who am I with right now? Who did I just tell I was still in love with him less than half an hour ago? Who is it that I find myself still drawn to after everything we've been through? It's you House, and no matter how hard I tried, it couldn't be anyone else but you. I love you, I wish I didn't, but I honestly cannot help it. I tried to stop it loving you, and yet here we are."

"You are honestly the best thing to ever happen to me, and I should have told you that when I had the chance."

He watched as her face lit up and a smile spread across her face.

"Better late than never." She replied laughing softly as she ran a hand through her hair.

"I love you Cuddy, always have and I always will."

It was out of character for him to openly talk about his feelings but he had nothing left to lose. She had told him she was still in love with him, she had forgiven him for what he had done to her; the least he could do was be completely honest with her.

"I hate myself for what I did to you…When I came back and turned myself in I didn't even bother to go to trail, or even get a lawyer. I didn't want you to have to suffer even more at my hand, and I wanted to punish myself for what I did to you. I needed to be punished. What I did was unforgiveable, and of course you'd forgive me when I don't deserve it because that's who you are. You forgive people who don't deserve to be forgiven and you give them chances they don't deserve. I deserve to be punished, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone."

He was put off when he felt her hands against his face and before he knew what was happening, their faces were just mere inches away.

"Listen to me. You have done your time for what you did to me. You went to prison, I just said I forgive you. I appreciate how willingly open you are being with me, but please stop trying to get me to change my mind by talking down about yourself. I don't know if you mean to do it, but it's not going to work. I want you here and in my life, for as long as I can have you be a part of it. Do you want to be a part of my life?"

"I do." He said softly, fighting the urge to comment on the fact that he did not deserve to be a part of her life. She had forgiven him, but he did not know if he would ever be capable of forgiving himself.

* * *

"Good." She replied, kissing his forehead instead of kissing him on the mouth like her mind was screaming for her to do.

She didn't want to rush into things. They had done that the first time they had had a deeper relationship than just a friendship, and it had ended terribly. Just because there was something between them once more did not mean she would allow him into her bed so easily. She wanted to wait for her own sake, because if she let him back into her bed too, she knew she would only get hurt again.

She wrapped her arms around him and let out a small sigh of content as she rested her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"You never answered my question." He said suddenly, after resting his chin on top of her forehead.

"What question?"

"What do we have here?"

"We have….something. We don't need to label it as anything else. We just have the start of a new chapter in our relationship and that's all that matters."

"Something…is better than nothing."

"That it is." She replied, closing her eyes, taking in his scent as they stood there and for the first time in over two years finally allowed themselves to consciously have the contact they had both missed.

They remained that way for several minutes before they heard the sound of the door begin to open.

"I decided to come back because you hadn't called and it's been two hours, so I assumed there would be a bloodbath to find and a body to hide, but obviously I was wrong…Plus the kid was hungry and I left my purse here." Alicia said as she eyed the two knowingly.

They had pulled away just as the door had opened, but the expressions on their faces gave them away.

"Hi House!" Rachel said happily before turning to her mother. "Moooooooom, I'm hungry." She whined.

"Go into the kitchen and get yourself a snack. We're going to the grocery store soon because we're out of actual food okay?"

"Kaaaaaaaaaay." The five year old replied before running off into the kitchen.

"Alicia will you –"

"Don't even need to ask." Alicia responded before following after Rachel.

"Sooo."

"So."

"Where exactly are we going grocery shopping?"

"There's a Costco half an hour from here, I like to get things in bulk since it's a drive to get there to begin with."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You know me, always wanting to have things in extra."

"Some things don't change."

"No, they don't." She replied smiling.

"I've decided that I am going on your Costco trip with you because of reasons…also need to get Pringles, and what better way to buy them in bulk?" Alicia announced as she re-entered the room, giving Rachel a piggyback ride.

"That's fine with me. Let me just grab my coat and we can go."

"If Bernadette Peters here is coming too, I'm calling shot gun."

"In what world would it make sense for me to take shot gun when you're my elder?"

"Why can't all teenagers be like you?"

Cuddy couldn't help but laugh at the interaction between House and Alicia as she slid on her coat. She was still surprised the two had taken to one another so easily, but she was glad.

* * *

One of the many things he loved about Cuddy was watching her do everyday tasks. It was hard to believe that someone as extraordinary as she was went out and did such trivial tasks as food shopping.

He watched from afar as she struggled to reach for a box of granola bars, her stature lacking the inches usually provided when she wore heels seeing as she had on a pair of flats. He watched her struggle a little more before coming up behind her.

"I got it." He grabbed the box and dropped it into the cart she had beside her.

"Thank you." She replied giving him one of those smiles that had the power to make his three times to small heart swell.

"Any time." He replied before going against his better judgment and bringing a hand up to her cheek.

She blushed as she looked down at the ground and he couldn't help but smirk. It was rare for something to make her blush. The last time he had seen her do so had been when he had whispered into her ear all of the things he couldn't wait to do to her the moment they left one of the hospital's fundraisers when they were dating.

He kissed the top of her head before removing his hand from her cheek.

"So how badly did you miss my cooking?" He asked when she looked back up at him. They both knew he was the more competent cook of the two and he wanted to do something that made him feel useful, and what better way for him to do that than cook dinner?

"A lot actually. What do you have in mind?" She asked as they fell in sync with one another as they continued through the store.

"Whatever you want me to make...Except pasta." He replied.

He didn't care what she wanted him to make; he just wanted to show her that he was indeed trying.

"If pasta's out, what about those stuffed cabbage rolls?"

"We'll need to get rice and ground beef…obviously cabbage…"

"I can get the rice, you can get the meat…Then we'll meet up where the vegetables are? That way we can get out of here quicker."

"Sounds like a plan." He nodded before heading off to find the meat.

* * *

"Boo!"

"Holy shit!" Cuddy shrieked, dropping the five pound bag of rice she had been holding in her hands. She looked around, thankful that there was no one around to see her reaction to Alicia's little joke.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Lisa please, as if you'd ever be the person to have a heart attack." Alicia replied, laughing as though she had just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"We don't know that." Cuddy replied, rolling her eyes and bending over to pick up the bag and placing it in the shopping cart. "Where's Rachel?"

"We ran into House in the meat section, and she wanted to tell him about her day at school, so she's with him. Is that a problem?"

"No, it's not." She replied, beginning to make her way towards the aisle that contained snack foods. She needed to stock up on the things she gave Rachel to take with her to school, as well as the few indulgences she allowed herself to have every once in a while.

"So what exactly is happening with you two?"

"We have…something."

"Something? What does that even mean?" The younger woman asked, raising one of her perfectly maintained eyebrows in curiosity.

"Everything is out in the open…Apologies were made…Feelings were put out on the table…and we have something, that will hopefully turn into something more…"

"Does that mean you're getting laid tonight?"

"No!"

"But…you guys have a thing…and given your history, if feelings are out in the open, don't you think you deserve to finally have a good lay?"

"Oh, to be young and naïve." Cuddy sighed. "It's not that simple Alicia...Yes, House and I have a lot of history, but with that history comes baggage, especially now that there's even more history and baggage than there was the first time we slept together…Sleeping with someone keeps you bound with them for life, and yes we're already bound by that fact, but I want to wait a bit this time…It just feels like if we go back into this and immediately have sex like we did the first time, it'll be doomed. There are still things that need to be discussed."

"Did you tell him about your anxiety problems?"

"I mentioned it in passing, but I didn't elaborate. That's one of the things we need to talk about, although they all don't revolve around what he did."

"I know they don't, but sometimes the nightmares do."

"And most of the time they revolve around his death, but now that I know he's indeed not dead, those will obviously stop."

"And if they don't?"

"Then they don't, and I'll go back to seeing my psychiatrist and that's the end of that."

She stopped and crossed the aisle, grabbing a bulk sized box of Oreos for herself and chocolate chip cookies for Rachel, as well as several other types of variety snack foods.

She appreciated Alicia's worry; it was nice to have someone in her life that actually cared for her wellbeing, but at the same time she knew what to do when it came to House.

* * *

"I don't like gym class because I'm bad at sports and I don't want the other kids to make fun of me when I'm bad."

"If they make fun of you, it's because they're mad they aren't as cute as you are when they suck at the game too. You're only in kindergarten kid, give it time and you'll be better at sports than you know it."

"Are you good at sports?"

"I was before I hurt my leg. I used to play lacrosse which is like football and hockey, but with a stick…Now the best I can do I bowl."

"Can we go bowling sometime?"

"Sure kid, as long as your mom is all for it."

"Mommy will do whatever I ask as long as it makes me happy…"

"Your mom's a good parent, be grateful you have her, not all kids are so lucky."

It was easy for House to get along with Rachel, she was truly an interesting child, and he had always found it easier to speak to children than adults. He himself was an overgrown child so he knew how to communicate with them.

"Hello you two."

House turned at the sound of Cuddy's voice and headed toward her, dropping the package of ground beef into the cart and smirking when he noted the giant box of Oreos, remembering Rachel's comment the previous night.

"I see you're stocking up on Oreos…"

"Shut up." She replied, whacking him playfully on the arm.

"Told you she really liked them." Rachel commented, hugging her mother's legs.

"I know she does kid. Your mom has a secret sweet tooth for chocolate."

"Not so secret anymore…" Alicia commented dropping a package of Pringles into Cuddy's shopping cart.

"It was never a secret…I just…never indulged in it as often as I do now." Cuddy replied, shrugging. "So how about finding them cabbages so we can head back home? I'm pretty sure Jack is going a little nuts after being cooped up all day, I'll have to take him out for a walk while you start dinner."

"He cooks? Why have you never mentioned this before? I'm definitely staying over for dinner tonight."

House watched as Cuddy shook her head at her friend's comment.

"I took a cooking class a few years ago and it turned out I was good at that too."

"He's good at everything." Cuddy commented, a fond smile forming on her lips.

"Except relationships, I suck at relationships."

He said it before he could stop himself and he immediately regretted it when he watched the smile fade from her face. He always managed to put his foot in his mouth without really trying or meaning to do so.

"Soo…how about them cabbages?" He said quickly, changing the subject.

An hour later he was standing in Cuddy's kitchen, figuring out where most of her pots and pans were, as well as the seasonings used where kept. They'd gotten the remainder of the groceries they had needed, he'd gotten a few of the foods he enjoyed to eat, and then he'd paid for everything, much to Cuddy's surprise. He was pleased to have surprised her.

"Pots are under the sink, seasoning is in the cabinet above the stove." He turned to find the curly haired teenager leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, her arms crossed.

"Thanks." He mumbled, pulling open the cabinet beneath the sink and pulling out a pot before limping over and taking all of the spices he needed off of the rack inside the cabinet above the stove. He seasoned the meat and pulled the cabbage leaves apart, still feeling Alicia's presence in the door frame.

"Are you going to stand there the entire time or are you going to make yourself useful?"

Cuddy had left with Rachel to take the dog for a walk, and he hadn't known Alicia had stayed behind until she had made her presence known.

"I guess I'll help." She replied, walking over to the sink and washing her hands.

"Open that bag of rice and rinse out two cups of it, then give them to me to add to the meat, you can help fill the leaves with the meat and rice and then close then. Four hands are quicker than two."

"Gotcha."

After she had rinsed the rice and he had added it to the meat, they stood side by side filling the leaves.

"You know, she told me about your…arrangement."

House sighed, knowing that he should have expected the teen to give him her input on the situation, regardless of whether or not he asked for it.

"She told me she loved me, I told her she was the best thing that ever happened to me and that the feeling was mutual, simple as that."

"Except it's not that simple; you both think it is but it's not. I'm saying this because I care about Lisa as a friend. She's the most positive influence I've had in my life. Don't hurt her as badly as you did the last time, she won't be able to handle it. Don't pull stunts like you did this morning and disappear without letting her know, it only makes her anxiety go through the roof. I'm not saying that you have to be the perfect significant other or whatever the hell it is you are to her, I'm just saying that you can't hurt her as badly as you did before. She is a strong woman, and there is only so much she can take before she cracks. She is only human, and you need to remember that because if you don't one day you will push her past her breaking point, and I don't want to see her broken again. I've seen her at her worst, and most of the time it's because of what you did to her. She's had nightmares the past few months, since she found out that you had supposedly died, and I spent the night one day when she had one of her really bad ones, and she was completely and utterly distraught at the fact that you two had never gotten closure, and it was eating her inside because she thought you were dead…but you're not dead, and I really hope that her nightmares stop…but just don't fuck her over again."

He understood her concern for Cuddy. He had fucked things up with her in the past, and he himself worried that he would screw things up even though it was early on in whatever they had at the moment.

"I'll try not to. I know I'm an ass and that I've caused her a lot of pain in the past, but trust me, I'm going to try as hard as possible to not do that again…I don't want to lose her again."

It was easier for him to be open with someone who knew almost nothing about him than it was for him to be open with those who truly cared about him and whom he truly cared about.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of barking as the dog announced that Cuddy and Rachel had returned from walking him. House looked at the amount of cabbage leaves they had filled and decided that it was more than enough to feed them all.

"We've got enough food." He finished, pouring enough sauce into the pot to cover the cabbage leaves before setting them to simmer on the stove. He put away the remainder of the ingredients before washing his hands and heading out of the room.

* * *

Her day had taken an unexpected turn, but she was glad it had done so. For the first time in months she felt optimistic. She had enjoyed the small dinner House had put together. He had offered to do the dishes, even though she had insisted on doing them herself. He simply wouldn't take no for an answer.

She found it sweet that he was trying so hard, she'd let him do what he wanted until he got tired of it.

She noted that she hadn't heard her daughter make a sound since she and Alicia had retreated upstairs and usually when they were quiet for extended periods of time the two were plotting something.

Cuddy made her way up the stairs and peeped into Rachel's bedroom. She smiled at the sight of the two curled up in Rachel's bed. It wasn't the first time in the course of their friendship that she'd found Alicia and her daughter curled up together sleeping. Alicia was like another daughter to her and obviously an older sister Rachel. She had become more than just her baby sitter, she had become family.

She walked over to the television and turned it off before pulling the blanket over the girls and kissing both of their foreheads before making her way back down stairs.

She decided to help House with the dishes and made her way into the kitchen.

She found him with his hands gripping the counter so tightly that his knuckles were white. He was obviously in extreme pain.

It suddenly hit her that she couldn't remember the last time he had taken a pill to help with his pain.

"Hey." She said softly, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. She felt him tense beneath her touch and she dropped her hand.

"Do you want me to run you a hot bath?" She asked, her voice laced with concern as she watched his jaw clench in pain before he leaned against the counter as his leg gave out.

She reached forward and draped his arm over her shoulder and led him over to the table, helping him into a chair and propping his leg up onto another chair.

Cuddy pulled up a chair beside his and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, frowning at seeing him in so much pain.

"When was the last time you took something?"

"I haven't had anything since we left the hospital on Saturday."

"You could have asked me for a pill or two House."

"Trying to wean myself off of them, don't want to fuck up again."

She let out a small sigh.

"House…I don't want you to be in pain because you think it'll help us…On the contrary, you being in pain would only make things worse for us…I don't want you to be afraid to ask me for a pill when you need them, and if you really want to wean off of them at least wait a little longer…I'm going to get some ice packs for your leg okay? That'll take the edge off of the pain."

She stood and walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a bag of frozen peas and held it over his bad thigh. She watched as he flinched slightly.

"I'm here House…you need to open up more if we want this thing, whatever it is to work…"

"Ok."

"I'm going to go upstairs and run you a hot bath in my tub. Then I'll come back down here and we'll see if you can make it up the stairs, does that sound okay?"

She watched as he gave her a small nod before she headed up the stairs.

It seemed that their relationship would always take one step forward and two steps back. They had made progress, but they still had a long way to go.


	11. Chapter 11

_I had writer's block, but I hope this chapter makes up for it. Special thanks to Ines and Marlene for being my whiteboards for this chap. Oh and I may or may not have cried writing this chapter, so brace yourselves, ok bye!_

* * *

"House, can I ask you something?"

They were sitting in front of the fireplace in the library on the third floor of Cuddy's home. It was Saturday night and Alicia had offered to take Rachel for the night having mentioned something about a musical marathon, giving House and Cuddy the night to themselves. They'd spent the evening sitting together and simply talking.

"Shoot."

"Why were you able to be there for him but not for me?" She asked, looking up at him, the pain evident in her eyes.

He tensed, having been completely thrown off by her question. The conversations they had had over the past week had never strayed from the lighter topics and knowing that her curiosity would get the best of her, he should have expected the conversation to shift towards Wilson eventually.

"I don't want to talk about it." He replied, clenching his jaw.

"Please…we both knew the conversation would turn to this, eventually…Let's just get it out of the way."

He sighed.

"Because… he was all I had left. Everyone in my life had abandoned me in one form or another, and he was the one who always came back regardless of how I treated him." He responded, averting her gaze. "The circumstances…were different with you…I was terrified of losing you. I just…now that I had you, I didn't want to picture my life without you because you made me a better person…The fear of losing you drove me to the brink of relapsing…I understood how you felt every time I did something stupid and almost killed myself, and I didn't want to feel it, especially not when it came to you. I didn't want to feel the pain of the possibility of losing you, that's why I relapsed. It wasn't because I couldn't be there for you. That was my way of trying to be there for you…by blocking out my own emotions."

"Is that why you ended up showing up to my room high?"

"Yeah…I looked fine to you, you didn't realize that I was high…but you were comforted by me showing up. I took the pills to block out my emotions because I didn't want you to see me worry because you had enough to worry about, but I have regretted it every day since. Losing you was the worst thing to ever happen to me."

There was no point in lying to her or trying to avoid the conversation any longer.

"Letting you go was a mistake." She murmured and he looked down at her to see her wiping at her eyes. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't broken up with you then, if I had just been there…but I thought I had cancer, and looking back at it, it was terrible of me to break up with you after that entire ordeal because as terrified as I was, you clearly were too, but you just didn't show it…to me at least…I didn't know you were terrified and maybe if I had, things would have ended differently…I don't know."

"You're right…I should have showed you how I felt, but you know how I am when it comes to showing people my emotions."

"I do, but this…this is progress…Thank you for being honest."

He shrugged before wiping away stray tear that was threatening to fall from one of her eyes.

"Anything else you wanted to know?"

"No…Uhm, how about we go downstairs and take a hot bath?" She asked standing and running a hand through her hair.

He caught hold of her hand.

"You okay?" He asked, bringing her hand up to his lips and brushing them against her knuckles.

"I'm fine." She replied softly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, I promise…now are you going to join me or not?"

"Yeah, I'll be down there in a few go on ahead of me."

Her hand slipped out of his as she walked out of the room.

* * *

She slipped into her bathroom and opened the faucet of her Jacuzzi sized bathtub, letting the room fill with steam as she undressed and slipped into the scalding water. She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning her head against the wall.

"Scoot forward." She heard and she opened her eyes to find House wrapped in a towel, standing in front of her.

"Nuh uh, I'll stay in the back."

"You're always in the front."

"That was then, either you can be in the front or you can just not join me."

Cuddy watched with satisfaction as he dropped the towel and slipped inside the tub in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him back against her, resting her chin against his shoulder, her hands pressed against his chest

"This is why I wanted to be in the back." She said softly.

"Mhm." He replied and she felt his hand run along her leg.

She reached behind her and grabbed the bar of soap and lathered her hands before running them over House's chest.

"Does this mean I get to wash you?" He asked turning his head and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Not tonight."

"Buzz kill."

"Just enjoy the moment. You have the woman of your dreams lathering you up in her bathtub, after all of the things you have been through with her and after you never thought you'd never see her again. You get what you get, and you don't get upset."

She let out a soft laugh at how ridiculous she sounded before giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Give me the soap and turn around." He replied and before she could respond she could feel him taking the soap from her and watched as he turned to face her.

"Turn around."

"House."

"It's nothing sexual Cuddy, I'm not trying to force you into anything. Do you want a back massage or what?"

Reluctantly, she turned around, grateful that the tub in her bathroom was large enough to permit them to comfortably change positions.

"God, you haven't lost that magic touch." She groaned as he rubbed her shoulders, his hands relieving some of the tension that had formed in her upper back over the last few days. She let out another groan as he worked his hands down along her back, not having realized how tense her muscles really were.

"You've still got that tense spot at the small of your back." House murmured softly, digging his thumbs into her problem area.

"Yeah, but there's nothing I can do about that."

"You can try acupuncture."

"You know how I hate needles."

"You wouldn't even see them, just feel them."

"No thanks."

"Your loss."

"Have you tried acupuncture for your leg?"

"That's different."

"Pain is pain."

"My pain isn't an accumulation of stress. It was just a suggestion."

"If I get acupuncture done for my back, you have to try it for your leg."

"It won't work."

"You've never tried it, so you don't know if it will. And it might not work for my back, but I'll still try it anyway."

"Fine."

"This is nice." She replied, changing the subject as she leaned her head back against his chest.

"Yeah…" He responded as she felt his arms wrap around her. His chin rested against her shoulder and she pressed her cheek against his, taking in the calm of the moment.

* * *

By the time they had gotten out of the tub, they were wrinkled and pruned. He couldn't resist but stare at her ass when she had gotten out of the tub before him and grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapping it around her torso before handing him one without even turning to look at him. The lack of sex also meant a lack of nudity, but he wasn't bothered by it. It was her body and her choice whom she allowed to see nude; he wasn't going to make her uncomfortable after only being back in her comfort one for about a week.

He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist as she turned to face him.

"If you aren't going to bed anytime soon…you could come back after you change and we could talk or something…"

He gave her a nod before watching as she walked out of the bathroom. He waited a few minutes to give her time to change before walking into the bedroom, not wanting to have walked in on her changing, for both of their sakes. It was difficult enough for him to feel her nude form against him for so long that seeing her completely nude would not help his cause at all.

"I'll take you up on your offer." He commented before walking out of her room and down the hall into the guest room.

He changed into his pajamas; a pair of flannel bottoms and a worn out tee shirt. House ran a hand through his wet hair before making his way back towards Cuddy's bedroom.

She was sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed, her wet hair pulled up into a messy bun, looking down at her cellphone.

"Sooo." He said as he leaned against the door frame.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit with me?" She asked, patting the side of the bed that was usually his. He raised an eyebrow before limping over and lying down beside where she was sitting, his arms behind his head.

"Thanks for the back massage." She said softly, lying down beside him and resting her head against his chest.

"Any time." He replied, draping his arm around her and letting his hand rest against her hip and pressing his lips against her temple.

* * *

It was three in the morning when her cellphone went off and she woke up dazed, House's arm around her and their hands intertwined against her hip. She reached for her phone and flinched at the brightness of the screen. It was a missed call from Alicia.

Just as she went to call back, her phone started ringing again.

"Hello?" She asked, groggily bringing her phone to her ear. She immediately sat up at the sound of Alicia's hysterics on the other side of the line.

"Hey, hey, what's going on? Is Rachel okay? Are you okay?" She asked her heart in her throat as she heard Alicia recollect herself.

"She's asleep, she's fine." Alicia replied through sobs.

"What's going on?" Cuddy replied, a breath of relief leaving her at knowing that her daughter was okay but the worry still there for her friend.

"He hit me."

"That mother fucker." She hissed into the phone, already standing out of bed and putting on a pair of flats, not noticing that House was watching her. "Stay put. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"What's happening?" She jumped at the sound of House's voice as she was grabbing her purse.

"Alicia just called me. Her fucker of a boyfriend hit her. I'm going to go get her and Rachel."

"I'm coming with you."

"You don't need to do that."

"Cuddy, I'm not letting you go over there alone."

"Okay."

* * *

He followed Cuddy up the stairs of Alicia's apartment building, watching as she stopped in front of apartment 517, reached above the door, pulling down the spare key and opening the door in front of them.

He had never seen her so pissed off.

"Alicia?" She called as they entered the apartment and the first thing he noted were the shards of a shattered vase against the floor.

They entered the living room of the small apartment and spotted her on the floor in front of the couch, her arms around her knees and her face hidden between them.

"Oh honey."

He watched as Cuddy dropped down onto the floor beside the teenager, any anger in her dissipating as she pulled Alicia into her arms. He always admired how well she could handle any situation regardless of how she was feeling.

He had no clue what to do in this situation other than to watch as Cuddy calmed her, just as he had watched her calm Rachel in the past.

"House, the bedroom is just down the hall; can you go get Rachel please?"

He nodded before limping down the hall and opening the door.

He spotted Rachel in the center of the bed and limped over and sat down on the edge of the bed, giving her a small shake.

"Rachel."

He smirked as she let out a groan of protest and buried herself deeper into the pillows. Carefully, he pulled her into his arms and stood, spotting her jacket on a chair and draping it over her. He limped out of the bedroom and back down the hall and into the living room where both Alicia and Cuddy were now seated on the couch, a bag of peas against Alicia's cheek.

"Al, we'll go back to my place okay?" Cuddy said softly. "I'll take Rachel." She continued, reaching out for her daughter.

"It's okay, I can handle her. She's okay...Has no clue anything is actually happening." He said lightly, shrugging.

He watched as Cuddy and Alicia stood from the couch before following them out of the apartment.

* * *

The first thing she was hit with as she walked out of Alicia's apartment building was the cause of the commotion himself, Tom.

"I swear to god, if you don't get out of here in the next five seconds, I will slap you so hard that you will stumble into nineteen ninety." She hissed, her arm wrapped protectively against her friend.

"Lady look, what happened between Alicia and I, is between Alicia and I. There's no need for nosy bitches like you getting involved."

"She said back off." She heard House growl from beside her.

"This must be the guy who fucked you over so bad. You're back with him and he almost killed you in his anger. I lost my temper and I hit her. It was an accident. You can forgive him, Alicia can forgive me."

"Cuddy, take Rachel."

She complied and took her daughter out of House's arms.

"Ooh, what are you going to do?"

That was all it took for House to punch the younger man in the jaw before pressing him against the wall, his hand at the other man's throat. She had to admit that even with the disability, House's strength was still admirable.

"Listen to me you little fucker. If you step within twenty feet of either of these two again, I will shove my cane so far up your ass that there will be no way to get it out. You ever speak to Cuddy that way ever again and I will make knock all of your teeth out and so help me god if you ever lay another finger on Alicia I will kill you and make it look like an accident. Do you understand?"

She should have been terrified of House's behavior, but she had never witnessed the protective side of him come through so strongly.

She watched as Tom nodded, a smirk forming at the fear in his eyes.

"Cuddy, call the cops so this fucker can get what he deserves."

"No, please don't." Alicia murmured.

"Alicia, he needs to be punished." She said softly, her voice laced with sympathy.

"No, no. House's threat is enough, I just want to get this over with…I want to get him out of my life for good, I don't want to put up with him anymore…Please."

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure, let's just go."

"Cuddy."

She looked over at House, his hand still holding Tom in place against the wall before walking over to his side.

"Let's just go…She just wants to go…"

"She doesn't know what she's doing."

"I know she doesn't but she's been through enough, let's just go home."

She placed a hand on House's upper arm as he looked down at her.

"Ok."

"Can you take Rachel for a moment, I need to get my keys out of my pocket."

She handed Rachel to him, and turned to face Tom who was struggling to breathe after House had released him.

Without hesitation, she smacked her hand against his face, hard enough that it hurt her hand to come in contact with his flesh.

"That is for Alicia you son of a bitch."

* * *

House couldn't help but smirk at the stunned look on Tom's face after Cuddy had smacked him. Having felt the sting of her palm himself, he now knew what he must have looked like when she had slapped him almost two weeks earlier.

Cuddy may be small, but there was no denying that she was strong.

"Get lost and fuck off." He heard her growl before bringing her hand up to strike Tom again. House grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Hey, this isn't you. Violence is my turf, remember? Let's go home."

He watched as she registered what he'd said and turned, heading back towards Alicia.

He offered to drive home and surprisingly she let him, sitting in the backseat to make sure her friend was okay. When they had gotten back to Cuddy's townhouse it was almost five in the morning. He took Rachel upstairs, letting Cuddy get Alicia settled into the master bedroom.

"House?" He heard Rachel mumble as he slipped one of her stuffed animals under her arm.

"Go to back to sleep kiddo." He replied softly.

"Ok." She mumbled again, snuggling against her stuffed unicorn.

"Good night Rachel." He replied, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him, almost bumping into Cuddy as he turned to go towards his own bedroom.

"How's Alicia?" He asked, genuinely caring how the teenager was doing. He'd come to appreciate her presence over the last week; she was insightful and bright and much too mature for her age. He hated that she had to go through this type of situation at such a young age.

"She's out like a light…I gave her a sleeping pill and something for the pain…God, I can't believe this happened to her…I told her not to get back together with him, and she didn't listen to me, and then he hit her…That fucker."

"I drove my car through your house…"

"Don't. You never laid a finger on me. You never intentionally hit me. Don't compare our situation to theirs. Don't do it. The circumstances are different, the people involved are different. Tom the lowest of the low, you are not."

"Ok."

"Thank you by the way…For doing what you did…For being so protective of us all…Of myself, of Rachel…of Alicia… I know you did it for me and I really appreciate it."

"I like the kid…She's grown on me…She deserves better…She's important to you and Rachel, therefor important to me."

He was caught off guard when she pressed her lips against his, her arms finding their way around his neck. Instinctively his hands were at her waist, pulling her hips against his own. Her hands made their way into his hair, his tongue running against her teeth. He could feel himself getting turned on at the situation.

"Cuddy." He replied breathlessly, pulling away from her.

"Guest room." She responded, pressing her lips against his again.

"Are you sure?" He asked against her lips, pulling away again and looking down at her, resting his hand against her cheek.

"I'm sure."

* * *

She sat back on her calves and kissed his temple, followed by his cheek, and finally his jaw. House pulled her into his lap, running his hands along her sides as she leaned into him, desire coursing through her veins.

A small part of her felt as though it was too soon to let him back into her bed, too soon to commit the most intimate act that can take place between two people, but as she felt his hands roam her body as they had done so in the past, she knew that what is happening is right. Technically she wasn't even letting him back into her bed. She was letting him into her guest bed.

He pushed against her, gently pressing her against the headboard of the bed before he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle yet passionate manner. She took a deep breath as he pulled away, his hands traveling towards the waistband of her pajamas. He looked up at her for permission and she nodded, leaning her head against the headboard, feeling the air hit her bare skin as he pulled her pants and underwear off. Instinctively, her legs widened as he moved toward her. He pressed his lips to hers and she let out a soft moan as he slipped a finger between her legs, easily finding her clit.

Her head against the headboard, she knew he was watching her reactions as he moved his fingers inside of her; something that he had always done when he'd chosen that method to please her. She bit her lip as he pressed his thumb against her clit, pulling it down ever so slightly. She felt her body begin to quiver as she reached a hand towards his neck and pulled his face towards her own. She panted heavily as she nipped at his lips, whimpers escaping her before she cried out the pressure of his fingers against her sending her over the edge.

* * *

He moved his hands to her top as Cuddy's hands slipped inside of his pants. He slid off her top and groaned as she ran her fingers along his throbbing cock. He couldn't resist the urge to press against her hand, letting out another groan as she wrapped her hand against his shaft.

He pressed his lips against her jugular as her other hand slid up his t-shirt and she ran her nails against his back, while pressed her thumb against the top of his cock. She gave his cock a squeeze before releasing him, her hands moving to pull down his pants.

His pants are discarded and he pulled away for a moment to take off his shirt. He looked down at her and the sight of her before him after he had never expected to feel her body again was almost enough to make him want to cry.

She was so unbelievably beautiful and he had no idea how he had ended up letting her go without a fight. Everything he could ever want and need was contained in the five foot four, a hundred and twenty pounds, raven haired, and greyed woman that was Lisa Cuddy.

He wrapped his arms around her, their lips meeting as he unclasped her bra, her nails running against his chest. He held her against him, enjoying the sensation of having her bare flesh against his own. He had missed it. He had missed _her. _

He moved his mouth from hers and ran it along her neck. He felt her hand on his neck, holding him there as he sucked at her collarbone. He groaned as her leg wrapped around his waist, pressing against his ass to push their bodies closer together. He moved his lips away from her collarbone and kisses every inch of her chest within his reach.

"_House."_ She moaned and he knew that she wanted him inside of her but he refused to give in just yet. He wanted to savor the moment for as long as possible after never having imagined having her in bed with him after what he had done.

He moved his lips to her breast and grazed his teeth against her nipple as she arched toward him, letting out a whimper of approval. He sucked and nibbled until her nipple was hard inside of his mouth before moving onto her other breast.

"Need you…now." He heard her mumble before feeling her hand against his cock again, guiding him towards her heat. He could feel how slick she was as he thrust into her, biting his lip as she moaned in pleasure and her back arching into him. He picked up a slow and steady pace, their bodies rhythmically moving together in a notion they had been so accustomed to.

* * *

She ground her hips against his as he thrust into her, the feel of him inside her one she had honestly thought she would never experience again. She tilted her head back panting heavily as she felt her inner walls clench around his cock. Her hand ran along his back as he continued to move inside her, her mouth roaming his neck as she felt his hands along her curves. She moved her mouth up toward his jaw and captured his lips within her own, just as he increased his pace.

Cuddy dug her nails into his back as her body tensed, arching against House and she moaned into his mouth as her orgasm began to peak, her legs wrapping against his body, pressing him as humanely close as possible.

_"Fuuuck."_ She cried, letting out several frantic whimpers as she began to feel herself peak, one of House's arms wrapping around her waist and holding her against him as he continued to thrust into her. She felt him reach down between their bodies and felt his thumb against her clit, and in moments she was gone. She cried into his mouth as she came, her hand clinging to the back of his neck for dear life.

* * *

He could hear her muffled cries in his ears, her lips pressed against his as she tried to contain her pleasure and it was enough to send him over the edge. He groaned as he came inside of her, his lips still pressed against her own, their fingers intertwining. He felt her legs release their grip on his waist and he dropped down beside her. She leaned into him, sleepily running a finger in circles over his chest.

House wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips against her shoulder.

"I missed you." He murmured almost inaudibly against her skin.

He felt her hand against his cheek and he looked down at her, her eyes soft.

"I don't deserve you." He said softly.

"Well that's too bad, because I'm not going anywhere."

For a reason he couldn't explain, he felt his eyes start to water.

"Hey, tears are my turf, remember?" She continued, smiling as she brushed the wetness from his eyes.

He couldn't contain the laugh that escaped him.

"Yeah, I remember…It's just been a while since I've felt like this." He replied, running a hand through her hair.

"Felt like what?"

"Happy."

* * *

_Reviews make me happy and a happy me means a happy you because it feeds my muse! :3_


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